Today was meant to be happy,
Today was meant to be a celebration,
Yet I have ended up upon my bedroom floor crying.
Today I have learnt that someone agrees with my demons.
What they torment me with it true. The words they speak it’s all true.
“Your Worthless”, “Your Nothing” “Your Useless” it’s all true and I believe them.
I had a promise that I wouldn't hurt myself but tonight I feel that I will break everything, I want to. God, I want this to all stop. I want to slice my skin in such a way that it will leave my heart still and silent. I want my breath to become uneven and to fade away into nothingness. I want to end me not just in a joking way no today I give in to myself and the whispers I WANT TO DIE. Can I say that? Is that allowed? Without a crowd asking if I'm ok. No, I'm not, happy now? I’ve been feeling like this for years and its never gone away drowsiness of life almost as if I was drunk but I feel that every day and I have become unmotivated to even get up out of bed. My eyes no longer want to dace and see the world, I just want to get into the bath and bleed away into sleep.
My mind no longer clings on to the rope of security and happiness, yet now It has created a noose and I tie it around my neck and tie it onto the nearest ledge I can find.
It's not a joke when I say it because I know it's true. I know there's something wrong with me, yet people keep agreeing with my demons.
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Everything I left unsaid | Poetry |
PoesieIn life, I am someone who afraid of talking to people right then and there. They scare me because I don't know how they will react with what I will say. Yet writing them down on a computer is easier because i don't have to look at their reaction to...
