The Physical State of Love; a Daryl's Story

Chapter Eight: Enduring Pain

Daryl's POV

I’ve experience pain before.  I know what is feels like. The physical pain to being shot, breaking my leg when I was a teenager, or getting my ass beat to unconsciousness from different rival associates.  I’ve even experienced emotional pain when my parents were killed in a car accident or when Matt also died himself and I was helpless to do anything for him. I overcame all those painful moments and grew stronger because of those experiences.  I’m used to associating pain to the negative experiences, the things that are meant to hurt you, but nothing could prepare me for the pain I am feeling right now. How could something that is meant to heal me cause me pain in the process. What the hell has Cassie done to me?  I groan audibly as I try turning over in bed away from the sunlight coming through the open space in the curtains. It’s early Thursday morning and I’ve been awake for a couple hours. I haven't gotten my body used to a sleep schedule yet as I find myself tired at different times throughout the day.  I turn my head, opening one eye to read the clock. It's 6:50 and that means Cassie should be back from her morning run and getting breakfast ready. As if right on cue, the door to the room opens and I can hear the pads of her feet on the floor as she walks over to the window. “Don't,” I groan out to her without moving a muscle.  I finally turn my head to her with great effort, opening my eyes fully to look at the marvel that is her. She's wearing her signature black yoga pants and blue polo shirt. She's standing in front of the window with her hands on the curtains with her back to me. “Please don't,” I say pleading only to get a chuckle from her in response as she draws the curtains open temporarily blinding me with the sunlight.  “Ahhh. Dammit Cassie.” “Oh don't be such a baby, Daryl. It's a new day and there's lots to do. This is what you asked for by the way.” I can't argue with her, she is right, I did ask for this but I didn't expect the pain that came with it. “So. Do you want a shake for breakfast or something more substantial?” I watch her walk across the room checking various equipment and she plans out our therapy for the day.  I can't help noticing how her face seems more relaxed today than it did that first day. There's a new air around her and she seems happy. She stops moving suddenly and I notice her eyes are on me and I drown in the intensity of her emerald eyes. She is beautiful and…. “Daryl!” I'm immediately pulled out of my thoughts when I register her voice. I blink and answer her, “Cassie.” “Are you listening to me or are you even with me right now?”  “I'm all yours Cassie” ‘Always’  I reply.  She studies me for a few moments then she smiles and I almost stop breathing.  What I would do to see her smile everyday. Anything, I would do anything. She walks over to me and I finally sit up in bed keeping my eyes on her as she approaches.  She bites her bottom lip slightly and looks down. When she finally looks back at me she says, “So breakfast, are you hungry?” ‘You have no idea.’  I know she's referring to food but I can't help be answer her suggestively, , “I'd love to eat.”  I give her a mischievous grin and watch as her eyebrows shoot up and her cheeks become rosy. I follow up with telling her I'll have whatever she is having and she leaves the room to prepare it.  During that time, I head to the bathroom and change clothes as I get ready for the physical therapy we'll be doing today.

Pain!  The pain I'm feeling now is more like an ache, a whole body ache.  After that first day, Cassie did exactly what she promised. She got me to stand and to walk with the assistance of a walker.  It was a struggle and a lot of hard work but she got me there. We've been working on my upper body strength too because, as she said it “You'll have to be able to pull yourself off the ground if you ever fall.”  I wasn't planning on ever falling but she made sure to prove her point. Yesterday we were sitting on the ground finishing up with some stretches when all of a sudden she got up and left the room. She didn't say anything, she just left.  I sat on that floor for five minutes waiting for her before I noticed that she had placed the walker a few feet. I spent the next ten minutes trying to pull myself up from off the ground. She had walked back into the room and ended up assisting me with my final attempt.  So upper body strength was important too. I'm sitting at the bay window dressed and ready for today's workout when Cassie walks in with a tray of food. I realized recently that she's an excellent cook and everything I've eaten since that first day had been delicious. Today's breakfast smells amazing and I watch her walk over to me placing the tray on the seat in front of me.  “I hope you like strawberry crepes and bacon,” she announces. I must admit I haven't had too many crepes in my life but as I said Cassie is an excellent cook so I'm sure I love hers. “Everything is great with bacon,” I say as I admire the plate in front of me. There is a stack of four crepes topped with a strawberry sauce and four slices of bacon. I dig in enjoying every bit when I notice Cassie grab a cup  and begin drinking the green liquid. “Aren't you eating with me?” “I am, just in liquid form. It's a protein shake Daryl. It actually tastes good so stop making that face.” She giggles and I smile at her because I didn't realize I had made a face. As I watch her laugh, her face lights up and her eyes take on a lighter shade of green. God, I would do anything to keep her this happy, anything in the world. I'm enjoying her mood and decide to ask her a personal question because even though I've known Cassie for years now, I realize she does talk about herself a lot.  The details I know about her I got when I did a background check on her but I could never tell her that so I have to get her to tell me those things herself. Maybe she's share more of herself in the process. “Cassie?” “Yeah” “What's your middle name?” She stops drinking from her cup and looks at me. There is confusion in her eyes but also something else. She frowns and says, “When you hired me to help Matt and wrote my name down on the contract when I signed it. Don't you remember?” Shit, she’s right, I forgot about that. I honestly didn't read the stupid thing, it was just a formality to get her to help him.  I have no idea what she actually wrote down on it. It probably has her birthday too. I chuckle to myself with this realization and decide to own it. “I never read your contract after you signed it. There wasn't a need too. I knew you were the one who would help Matt and you did.” Two emerald eyes stare at me and I'm drowning in them until she bits her lower lip drawing my attention to the spot. I take a deep breath forcing myself not to reach over and run my thumb over the surface. Looking back into her eyes, she finally answers me and to my delight she shares more of herself. “Margaret. My grandmother's first name was Margaret and my mom…. she's Vivian…. gave me her name in remembrance.  My grandmother died before we were born. David, my brother, he's six years older. His middle name is Evan but it wasn't after anyone in our family.” She shared a lot more than I was expecting but I'm grateful. I now know who the David she was talking to before is and I know her grandmother died. I instantly think of my abuela and how much I miss her, a pain setting in my heart. I owe her so much for raising Matt and I and I make a mental note to go visit her the moment I am able to get around better. I tell Cassie that I'm sorry about her grandmother and share with her about mine. We talk some more about our families while we finish our breakfast. Her grandmother died when her mom was a teenager and her great grandmother, Helen, raised her mom.  She and David grew up in a house Helen built for her mom and her dad. I realize she doesn't call him dad, just Robert.  I ask her the story there and she just shrugs not answering the question. I'll ask Matt if he knows anything more before I brooch the subject again. I place my empty plate back on the tray and Cassie puts her empty cup there too. She leaves to take it back to the kitchen and I get up and walk over to the ipod and pick the music for the day. The sounds and music of Marc Anthony fill the room and I begin to sway slightly to the music. I miss dancing and can't wait to dance the way Abuela taught me. Once Cassie enters the room, I take her hand and I twirl her around causing her to laugh. The smile reaches her eyes again and my joy returns.  She dances with me as much as it is possible for me to dance. At the end of the sound I twirl her into me and her hands collide onto my chest as her body presses into me. Our breathing become heavy as I hold her, staring down into her eyes. I stick my tongue out to lick my lips and watch as her eyes notice the movement. She shivers in my arms and bits her bottom lip. When our eyes meet again there's a hint of longing and her cheeks become rosy. I inhale and breath in her honey and strawberries scent plus something else I can't place but it smells of her. She applies pressure to my chest as she pushes away from me and I reluctantly release her from my arms. The whole moment only last a few seconds but it is enough to turn me on. I can feel the bulge in my pants begin to grow but I know this isn't the time for that kind of a workout.  As I watch Cassie walk over to the exercise equipment that we would be using, I concentrate on getting rid of my boner and manage to get it halfway down before we start. The workout takes care of the rest.