The Physical State of Love; a Daryl's Story

Chapter Eleven: Secrets and Truths

Daryl's POV

A tangled web we weave. It's a statement I've heard many times before but never have I believed in its words. It isn't until this moment that I fully understand these words as I seem to be making a large web for myself. I'm an asshole. There really isn't another way to explain it other than to say I'm an asshole. I keep making the same bad decisions and it has to stop. It has been weeks since I officially ended things with Sophie after deciding I wanted to pursue things with Cassie. I believed everything was settled between us but then she showed up here on day in a state of panic. She was rambling on about a nightmare she had and she wouldn't stop crying. All she needed was to see me and know that I was okay. That's what brought her to my door but that's not what made her stay. It was lucky that Cassie wasn't home at the time, or maybe it was unlucky because things would have gone completely different if she was home. At first it was innocent enough when I held Sophie in my arms to stop her from shaking. I only wanted to comfort her and ease her mind. I should have let go, I should have backed away, I should have told her no... but when she kissed my neck, behind my ear, on my lips, I couldn't help it that my dick responded. She's so familiar and my body remembers her touch. It did not take long for things to escalate but I should not have fucked her then. I definitely should not have fucked her the next time when she showed up at my office but how could a man refuse a beautiful woman when she presents herself to him wearing only a trench coat and nothing underneath. She was too enticing and things with Cassie aren't progressing the way I had hoped that I gave in again.

I turn the faucet a little hotter and rest my head against the shower tile as the water runs over my body. 'What the hell am I doing?' I close my eyes and sigh as I try to figure out how I allowed this to happen a third time. I've been back home for a little over an hour but when I first got here Sophie showed up. She's left not too long ago but not before getting what she came here for. For the third time I allowed her to get under my skin. For the third time I tasted her sweet lips and indulged in the wonders of her curvy body. For the third time I told her it will not happen again and if God helps me it will not happen again. It can't ever happen again not if I'm to win Cassie's heart. I'm determined to change my relationship with her and it starts with the conversation I intend to have with her today. I plan on telling Cassie what I feel for her and I have news to share with her that I hope she'll be happy about. I can't ruin this, I wont let her leave again. I only slept with Sophie this time to take the edge off. I got myself worked up in the car heading back home in anticipation of seeing Cassie, hopefully touching Cassie, just thinking about Cassie that I was already horny as hell. It didn't take much convincing on Sophie's part to persuade me into sex but I had to tell her it was the last time. I made her understand it was the last time. Throwing her clothes at her and telling her to get out right after we finished helped make my point. I was an asshole about it but she needed to know my intentions and I was no longer interested in her. 'It was just sex nothing more.' I grab the soap and wash my skin trying to erase the scent of Sophie on my skin.

I get out of the shower and wrap the towel around my waist. Walking into my bed, I grab my phone to send Cassie a text. "Hey, I'm home. When should I expect you back?" It takes a few seconds for her to reply, "I'm finishing up soon. Should be on the way back in 10 mins." A second message comes immediately after, "Do you want me to grab food on the way?" Food would be good as its past lunch and I am feeling a little hungry. "Yea, get some takeout. Maybe Chinese." "Okay, see u soon." I stand there looking into my closet and wondering what I'm going to do until Cassie arrives. Then it occurs to me exactly what I need right now and I walk over to my dresser. I put on a pair of swim shorts, throw on my robe, and grab a towel before heading downstairs. Mrs. Gibson is in the kitchen cleaning and I greet her on the way out towards the pool. I rest the towel and my phone on a lounge chair and walk over to the pool edge. I disrobe and dive into the water. My pool is heated and is kept at a constant temperature of 78 degrees Fahrenheit. It's the perfect temperature from swimming during the winter months. I swim a few laps back and forth, enjoying how the water feels over my skin. It helps to clear my mind and refocus on what I want or more specifically who I want. I have to stop sleeping with Sophie and I have to do what it take to be with Cassie. There really isn't any other option for me.