Don't leave me

The truth

"Rye I need to tell you something" i say my heart was racing a million miles per hour this is it I can't go back "what is it you can tell me anything i am here for you i wont leave" yeah but at any second I could leave and I can't help but to worry. "I know but the problem is I could leave" it slipped past my lips i had no intention of saying that but here I am without any shot at changing the subject or saying something else I have to tell him. "Andy" is all he says to me I felt weird knowing he was naked beyond the thin plastic that was covering him "listen i can tell you when you are done in here when you are I will be in the room waiting" that was all I could think of saying it probably gave me a good 2 minutes or so. Rye says nothing he just turns off the water and steps out of the shower wrapping a towel around his bottom half. "Tell me now" he says taking a step closer to me "rye um.....I have been going out early in the morning....and going to the doctor for.......appointments......because they ran tests on me and i have leukemia.....i am really really sick and I don't know what to do I am lost I am so scared that one morning I wont wake up that I won't be here" that is all that escaped my mouth oh god that really just happened i look at rye and he raises his hand to me and places his palm on my cheek my tears hitting his hand making it wet but he didn't care he left it right there  "I.....i'm not going anywhere" I look him strait in the eyes I see pain and confusion and tiredness and sacredness I am the one that has to protect rye and I am doing a really really bad  job. we are in complete silence for a while rye manly naked aside from the layer of fabric covering him and me just there wondering what is going to happen. what felt like 1000000000 years later rye speaks up in a very low quite voice and says "Andy i love you and you have been here for me for 3 years since the start of the band its.....its my turn to be strong and protect you". i walk over to him and hug him i never want to let go i could go disappear die and then rye will be alone. i push all of rye's problems out of the way just for a second and kiss him, he kisses back of course and i feel happy not scared not alone i felt free. i wonder is that how rye felt when we kissed. he pulls back and rests his forehead on mine I look up to meet his eyes but they are closed when they open a row of tears fall. "i am trying to be strong for you but....i can't lose you i have just got you back....I am just scared, is this how you feel about my problems...i knew i was holding you back but for you to be scared of going to see a doctor i feel like i am just more a problem than anything else"