Life

New life

 Slowly I started to recover. It felt like an eternity but by the end of the school year I was doing a lot better. My relationship with Jessalyn and Taylor grew so much during the hardest months of my life. They never gave up, just like they said. I had hoped I would never have to leave them.

Summer came and so did summer camp and LDP. Jessalyn and Taylor started to get very busy trying to prepare everything in time. They gave me the amazing chance to lead a few sessions when they were going to be at teepee village. The topics I got to speak on were God's love and trials. I also got to share my testimony with the girls while they had guy/girl time. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. The first weekend came and I went off to teepee village with 24 teenagers in grade 10, 11 and 12. We arrived and got settled into our teepee's. That evening we all hung out and played games and just got to know  each other. 

At around 9 we had guy/girl time. The guys all went off into their teepee and the girls all gathered around the cooking fire. We sat on logs and stumps in a lopsided circle. Jessalyn then got up to speak.

 "Hey girls, so this weekend we have a special guest with us, Emery. She has been living with Taylor and I this last year. She is going to be telling you guys more about herself this evening through her testimony. So I'll stop talking and let her talk," Jessalyn said, then sat down on a stump near the fire pit. I breathed deep and then started.

"Hi my name is Emery. I was born in a non Christian home and only became a Christian at the age of 10. I have struggled with social anxiety since I was little and started struggling with general anxiety when I was 13. I have always hated social situations and talking to people. When I was 14 I came to LDP and met Jessalyn and Taylor. They became such amazing mentors for me and have become even more amazing in the past two years. After LDP and working at camp. I went back to school and some girls started to bully me. This made me extremely insecure and I started to hate my body. I started to throw up my food and stopped eating. I convinced myself that I was just making myself prettier and that is was ok. Soon I became so weak that I ended up in the hospital for a week and was diagnosed with anorexia. I didn't believe it was that bad and didn't really want to get better. I went to two different centres for rehab, but it didn't help. By the end of grade ten I was still not getting better. During this I stopped going to youth and stopped reading my bible. I didn't think God loved me anymore. Last summer I was allowed to work here at camp as support staff which really helped me getting to the point of wanting to recover. After a while I came up with an idea that I wanted to live here at camp with Jessalyn and Taylor. Slowly everything worked out and I was allowed to come stay here. I slowly started to recover and grow in my relationship with God. Then this last February I had a horrible relapse to the point that I didn't even have enough energy to get out of bed. I got to the point where I wanted to die. I was in so much pain and had horrible depression and anxiety. When I got to the worst of it, I told Jessalyn that I wanted to die. She then told me that she knew God had more for me and that she didn't want me to die. That day I rededicated my life to God. I knew he loved me and that with him I could make it through. I'm still in the process of recovering but I know that if I continue to trust God, I will make a full recovery." 

 Everyone clapped when I finished. I noticed that Jessalyn had the biggest grin on her face. She was proud of me, I could tell. 

 "Do any of you have any questions for Emery?" Jessalyn asked.

 "I have something to say," a girl with blue eyes and long blonde hair said. I remembered her name, it was Melody. She stood up and began to talk, "I have dealt with anorexia for the last 5 months. Your story, Emery, really inspired me to cling to Jesus again. I didn't actually want to come to LDP but my parents told me that I had to because they already paid for it. Now I'm so happy that I came because I've met all of you amazing people and actually feel loved here. I believe God brought you, Emery, here to speak to me. I want to rededicate my life too," Melody said with tears flowing down her cheeks. Everyone came around Melody and hugged her then Jessalyn looked at me with a "here you go" look. She wanted me to pray for Melody. I put my hand on Melody's shoulder. I prayed,

 "Dear Father, we have here Melody. She is such a beautiful girl and she knows that she has been drifting away from you. She would like to rededicate her life to you and follow you with all of heart."

 "God, I want to come back to you. I have gone astray and am coming back. I'm sorry for all the mistakes and short comings. You are lord of my life!" Melody prayed.

 "Amen!" everyone said in unison.