My Words Your Life

Transparent Family

The mother's love will be
Neglected at first
Because since birth the
Conversations of dad is not here
Dad is not coming back
And I look like the spitten image of
Him
For I was told
I've never seen the way he has acted
But everytime I am an asshole
I think to myself
I just bonded with my father
I can't bond with my mother
Cause she is too busy bonding
With a needle
And "sugar"
I was never afraid of getting
My shots as a kid
And I was so hyper all the time
Whether or not if it was
A sugar high
The other kids thought
"This kid has got to be on some coke"
Till one day I could be myself
Once I was introduced to this kid
Just like me
Had a bigger vocabulary because his
Mom told him "They fear blacks
With brilliance"
I lended him a frog book for a project
And now let's leapfrog forward in time
We are bestfriends
People would call us
"Zebra boys"
We got into fights just like brothers
We did stupid shit like teenagers
And he didn't even get to live
Most of his teens
Those last two years of his life
His mental health was just too much
For everyone
His mother and I
Tried everything to make him feel
Better
So we tried counseling
And that
Would be our last argument
He told me that "the counselor
Didn't care
He has his own agenda
And is getting paid"
I told him
"It doesn't matter about his agenda
Your mom
Is paying money
That cuts back on food
On her livelihood
Because she thinks it'll help"
He said
"Nobody cares"
I said
"Not even me?"
He replied with
"Please
You would push my out of the boat
Just so you could stay afloat"
Then I said
"I would rather
Sink with you
Drown with you
Than to survive on my own"
A couple days later
Of not talking
I would have to watch him
Sink and drown
In his own blood
After he chose to jump out
Of the boat