in my head - hardzello

trust

hey im feeling lonely and gay, so i'll give u sum cute soft today.

mood: mariners apartment complex - lana del rey

it was 5:47pm and ben was thinking, a common pass time of his. he was thinking about himself, for once. he thought about how he felt, and what he was going to do with the things he was feeling. ben discussed with himself his confidence, which had improved rapidly over the past five or so days.

ben felt like a new person, but he was still ben.

to ben, becoming more confident was like growing out of a habit that you've had for ages. it's difficult. but as you go on, it becomes easier, careless. he had a new aura surrounding him. it was happier, it was more ben.

ben sat on the edge of his bed, looking into his mirror, examining himself. his forest green sweater draped over his shoulders, grey sweats, a little too big. he felt better now, he felt good when he looked in the mirror, thanks to joe. to kill time, he flicked through his phone notifications.

snapchat 3 hours ago

gwilym_lee added you from group chat!

instagram 3 hours ago

[benhardy1] gwilym_lee has requested to follow you.

snapchat 3 hours ago

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snapchat 2 hours ago

from lucyboynton1

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[benhardy1] lucyboynton1 has requested to follow you.

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[benhardy1] itsramimalek has requested to follow you.

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[benhardy1] joe_mazzello liked your post.

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snapchat now

joe_mazzello is typing...

snapchat now

from joe_mazzello

then ben's heart dropped from his chest to the pit of his stomach. he got all nervous and shy again. but it was only a snapchat. quite frankly he was overreacting.

he soon figured that out, so he opened the snap.

joe_mazzello

out the front <3

me

coming now x

that seemed like a fair response, and taking one last adjustment of his hair in the mirror, ben headed downstairs, with little expectation, to be honest.

ben opened the door, joe was there, in all his glory, all dressed up in some lovely tracksuit pants and a jumper, also adorning a beautiful smile, beautiful enough to make ben weak at the knees. their lips met softly, a few times. nothing said. eyes closed. bliss.

'how was school?' joe spoke, his lips touching ben's lightly as he formed his syllables.

'uneventful.'

'spill.' joe took ben's hand in his, and led him out of the doorway, but allowing him to lock the door behind him, safety first.

'no one there to entertain me.' ben laughed, squeezing joe's hand. 'where are we going?'

'i found somewhere. trust me?' and he did, ben trusted joe more than anyone. the sun was setting, painting the sky and it's clouds with a pink hue, reflecting onto the houses surrounding them. it was like they were living inside a painting, one with a beautiful thought process behind.

they walked, talking naturally, hand in hand. at some point ben's shoelaces became untied, and joe rushed down to tie them. they walked for some time before they reached the park they were at the first night they met.

'de ja vue.' ben looked up to meet joe's eyes, falling deeply into them with loyalty and trust. feeling everything he had before and more.

'not quite, follow me.' capturing ben's hand in his, joe led ben towards the edge of the playground, which was surrounded by bush and trees. joe reached them, parted them with his hands and led ben through them, gathering leaves in their clothes on the way. ben was confused, but he trusted joe so he didn't mind.

joe turned to ben and placed a hand over his eyes. and led him carefully, so gently through the bush.

'ready?' joe asked, excited, proud of himself.

'as i'll ever be.'

'ok.' and joe lifted his hand of ben's eyes, revealing a cleared area, surrounded by trees. huge, towering trees, with fairy lights strung between them, leaving a ceiling of lights. a picnic blanket sat in the middle, with a basket and glass of champagne. it was beautiful.

ben had no words, zero. the fact that someone had done this for him, that joe had done this for him. it meant the world to him. as a result of his loss for words, he gripped joe's face with passion and meaning, pulling him in for a kiss so wonderful and magical, he could die.

'you're amazing.' ben whispered against joe's lips, meaning each word. he broke away from joe to look up at the sky, sprinkled with stars and scattered with fairy lights. it was a sight. he had a feeling tonight would be a turning point.

and he was right.

a/n: short chapter sorry! next one will be amazing, i promise. <3