Don't tell me bye bye (mystery/ thriller)

Chapter 20

I want to disappear, but as that's not possible I've gone for the next best thing and ended up in the damp isolation of the woods. Maybe if I'm lucky I might get covered in moss and I won't have to do real life anymore.

The shadows embrace me as I traipse through the trees, my squelchy footsteps punctuating the silence. I stop at a fallen tree branch and I drag it to the base of a thick tree trunk, making myself a makeshift Bench, and I drop myself onto it. I lean back, rest my head against the tree and close my eyes, losing myself in the night time noises of the woods, letting my heart beat in sync with the swish of the branches and the chatter of secretive nocturnal creatures.

"Found you!"I jump at the unexpected human voice and smack my head against the trunk.

"Jeez, Rose," I say, rubbing the back of my head. "You always go round sneaking up on people?"

"Nope." She says, sitting down next to me, uninvited. "Just you."

I pull my coat around myself, shivering against the cold night. "How'd you find me here?"

"Jin said you'd gone out and Jimin's is closed so this was my next guess. He said I'd just missed you. And that you were pretty upset."

"Understatement of the century, Jin," I mutter. I can feel Rose's eyes boring into the side of my skull. "I'm really not in the mood for company."

"I can tell."

"So, can you, like, leave me alone?"

"No. Sorry," she says, shrugging her shoulders.

"Rose, please." I rub my eyes, but she's still sitting next to me when I look round. "I really just want to be on my own."

"I know you're upset, but-"
"You don't know anything!" I snap. "I don't know anything!"
She shrinks back a little, her voice quiet. "Jin told me you and Jules had a fight?"

"A fight?" I say, laughing. "A fight would imply that the two sides have some kind of equal footing, but all my mum has admitted to me is that we used to live here and we left because I saw Tae getting beaten up when we were kids. I know there's more to it, but she's refusing to tell me. Oh, and she's the one who's been sending me those notes."

Rose's jaw drops. "Your mum is?"

"Yes, my mum is."
"Whoah." Rose falls back against the tree. "I don't even know where to start with that." "Exactly, so please, will you just get lost, Rose?"
"No way, I'm not leaving you on your own."

"Why not? I'm obviously not destined for a normal life otherwise I wouldn't have ended up here, or started here, or...whatever. I didn't want this. I didn't want to be into Namjoon and I didn't want you following me around like a puppy. I don't need anyone, I just wish-"

"Ok, ok, I get it." Rose holds up a hand then scratches her forehead. "You've just found out that your life isn't what you thought it was. I'm sorry. I really am."

"You're sorry?" I roll my eyes. "Great, I feel better now-"

"Yes, actually, I am sorry, and if you let me in for just a minute then we can find somewhere to start with this mess and make sense of it, or talk about it, or do something that isn't hiding away."

"I don't need you to do that. I can work this out on my own." "Oh, really? Is sitting in the woods alone part of your great plan?" "No, but..."

"Look, I know you're hurting. You arrived in Seoul carrying a huge loss, shouldering a pain that's, like, radiating from you and the heat is keeping anyone from getting closer. Has it occurred to you that all this stuff with Tae was just one big distraction so you don't have to deal with your own situation?" I look up at her to respond, but she ignores me and carries on. "I can't begin to get my head around what it must be like for you, but you need to help me try to understand. Tell me, Y/n, tell me what you're going to do with all of this? It's not just going to get swept away by the wind and you're not running away, right?" I shrug and shuffle up the log, getting closer to Rose so I can absorb every one of her words. "So, tell it to me, Y/n. Tell it to me."