High School Blues

Chapter 1

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“Is that what you’re wearing to formal Josie? God, go for a run or something so you can actually wear that dress.” My older brother shouted down the hall as I walked out of my room wearing the new dress mum had bought.

His friends started erupting into fits of laughter as I stood there, my face going uncontrollably red with anger and humiliation.

Classic Jacob to embarrass me like that

I had been so excited to show everyone the dress, I thought it was the one thing that my ‘biggest loser’ body would look good in. It hid my love handles and made my legs look slightly less revolting. But no. He was right. I took another look in the mirror and the tears welled up in my eyes.

Stuck all over the door of my wardrobe were magazine cutouts and printed pictures of Victoria's Secret Models and those god damn fitspiration quotes, but no matter how long or how hard I stared at them and wished for their unbelievably toned and tanned bodies I was still my hideous, unlovable self, and nothing would change that.

I ripped my dress off and lay on my bed. I started to sob, and I mean I really started to sob. I have to admit I am quite a sensetive person, I guess I have this annoying habit of taking literally anything anyone says to me to heart, but it had been years since I had truly cried like this. My breaths grew short and sharp and I bit hard on my duvet cover so to not make too much noise. I knew it would be the perfect fuel for my brother and his douche-y friends to make fun of me. 

Don’t worry I didn’t do this every time someone called me fat, but it was the constant comments putting me down that built up inside of me and soon enough I had to let it out. I was a fat, ugly, loser with just about no friends.

Yeah I know it sounds pretty stereotypical, but sadly it was true. At school it would always be a constant battle between trying to smile and trying not to break down. People were constantly putting me down about everything, my personality, looks, weight, social life, basically everything they could. I guess it was easier for them to attack someone who was obviously hurting already, it's like knocking someone when they're down. 

I don’t blame them though, I was a pretty easy victim, I let them say whatever they wanted and I would simply say nothing or just timidly laugh and walk away. This was the complete opposite of my brother, he was the most popular guy at Long Beach High school. He wasn’t exactly attractive or the captain of the football team but he partied every day and night and so got in with the ‘cool’ crowd. In my opinion they're a bunch of horny, idiot losers that will do anything for a sack of goon and hot girls. 

They just hang around the beach hooking up with sluts and getting high. Not my opinion of an ideal life, but he seemed to enjoy it. He was hardly ever home, and when he was, he was a total dick to me or my dad. Mostly me, because my dad was always working and my mother had left us years ago.

My thoughts were interrupted when Jacob walked in. “I’m sorry Jose, I shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that in front of my friends”. Well I guess he had an okay side to him at times “I didn’t know you would take it so personally, I say that stuff to you all the time!” He said. Nope correction, he’s still a dick.

I took in a deep breath, “I know Jacob I know, but sometimes that stuff just really gets to me. I hear it from literally everyone at school and I really just can’t handle it at home as well. I know I’m fat Jacob, but insulting me and humiliating me isn’t going to make me skinnier.”

He looked at me sympathetically and spread his arms to give me a hug. “You know what Josie, this summer we are going to change that. I promise I’m going to help you.” He whispered and then walked out of the room.