Haven, Withstanding -The Traveler Series ✔

Chapter 9 - Haven

I stared out the window. My eyes burned and I had to keep rubbing them to get rid of the white haze that had settled over my vision. I'm sure they were red and puffy. I'm glad I didnt have a mirror handy to confirm it.

It looked like a nice day out. Blue sky, bright sun. I saw the leaves on the trees, stories below me, sway gently with the breeze.

And it made me angry.

There was a storm raging inside me. A sadness, with torrential rain, bright lightning and loud, rumbling thunder. It was unfair that the weather outside was not the same as my inside. The world was still turning. People were still happy--laughing--going about their lives as if nothing had ever happened. As if they hadnt noticed a bright light in the darkness had been prematurely and permanently snuffed out.

My world, on the other hand, had stopped. And I refused to allow it to start turning again. I would never forget Nash. I would never move on. I would never allow myself to love another, not only because I couldnt face another heartbreak but more so because the thought of it seemed like a betrayal of Nash's memory. Of our memories and the love we had shared. I would never get over this. I wouldnt allow myself.

It had been two days since I found out about his death. I had not seen Kara since.

I had also not seen Doc.

The last realization stung a bit more. I had told him to go away. No. I yelled at him to go away. Had he actually granted my wish? Surely he knew I didnt mean it, I was just upset and too deep in the moment. And yet, he hadnt been back since.

Aunt Doris had visited me often. Before and after her shift and during her lunch breaks. She attempted to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with me but to no avail. I wasnt hungry. The smell of food made me nauseous.

She had also brought me fresh clothes to change into, insisting that getting out of my hospital gown would make me feel better. "You need to move around, Haven. Get up and walk. We cant have you getting any blood clots now can we?" She had pleaded.

I eventually did change into my own clothes. And I did feel a bit better. In ripped jeans and my favorite WWE wrestler's reglan tee shirt... oh and fresh, soft socks. God, I loved new socks. But even that wasnt enough to make me want to leave this bed. I was still going to be here for a while under observation... longer if I didnt force my body to become more active. It was torturous. I had wanted to go home and sleep in my bed. Nash's bed. Our bed.

I was already fearing I forgot the smell of his scent, his manly body wash wafting through the air after a recent shower. I knew his pillow would still hold that comforting smell and I desperately needed to be there, hugging it tightly.

The door opened and I turned my head, expecting Doc. My heart skipped and then instantly came crashing down.

It was a doctor, but not mine.

He walked over to me, flashing a million dollar smile, "Hello Haven, I'm Dr. Miller. I just stopped by to check on you. How are you feeling today?"

I eyed him up and down, unimpressed. His smile faded. He wasnt bad looking, quite the opposite actually. Built and stocky with dark hair, cut close and military like. Tan. Handsome and swoon worthy. His blue eyes studied me, trying to assess my opinion of him.

It wasnt anything personal. I just didnt know him. I wanted my doctor. The doctor who had healed me. The doctor that had checked on me often, even when I wasnt conscious enough to know he was there. The doctor that was more concerned about my well being than charming me. And this was definitely not him.

"Where's MY doctor?" I asked, a slight accusation in my tone.

He raised his eyebrows as if my question had interested him in some strange way, "Uh... Ethan--" he cleared his throat nervously, correcting himself--"Er, Dr. Carter had a death in the family. He will be back in a couple of days." He then forced a reassuring smile at me.