Haven, Withstanding -The Traveler Series ✔

Chapter 17 - Haven

In my bed, he held me tight. I was safe. I was happy. That horrible nightmare was over. I snuggled further into his chest, inhaling his scent. He must have bought a new body wash, as I hadnt recalled this smell on him before. It was nice though. More than nice...

Would he think it strange if I pushed for a little morning quickie? I had missed him so much and that new smell was stirring something deep inside me that needed release.

Oh, please--hes a man, of course he'd be down for that!

I raised my head, nuzzling my face into his cheek. I had always love the feel of his stubbly face against mine.

I frowned. This is wrong. His skin was smooth. He never shaved, why was his skin so smooth? I suddenly became very aware that this was definitely not Nash.

His body tensed.

I froze.

Who the hell was in my bed? My eyes shot open and I pulled back, appalled that I had thought such things about someone other than Nash.

He looked at me, alarmed. Those familiar blue eyes were wide with surprise and dismay. "Oh, shit!" I exclaimed as I finally recognized that face didnt belong to Nash and scrambled away from him, backing myself against the edge of the bed.

Ethan.

It was a strange feeling having a heart that was split 50/50. I was upset this wasnt my fiance. And remembering I had, in fact, not been dreaming was even worse. The vision of the accident played inside my head. Nash was dead. It wasnt a nightmare. It was real. I felt the loss of him rock my body once again. And yet, at the exact same time, I was relieved it was Ethan... happy it was Ethan.

I looked down at my hand, clutching Ethan's teddy bear. I had been so half asleep that I hadnt realized it was in my grasp resting on top of his stomach.

"Haven?" Ethan asked, concern on his face as I'm sure he was trying to figure out what was going through my head as I was just now piecing together what happened. What was happening.

"I-I'm sor-sory," I stuttered, still trying to recover from my shock. My cheeks felt hot. I was embarrassed. Not only had I literally thrown myself at him last night but I had begged him to stay the night with me. Oh my God. What is wrong with me? I'm so pathetic. Was I really so weak that I couldnt be by myself anymore? So desperate to forget my loneliness I had actually tried to come on to Ethan? No. Not "tried..."

Oh, shit.

I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Lord, kill me now! Death had to be better than facing this serious faux pas. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the most annoying ringtone I have ever heard in my life.

Instantly relieved, I silently thanked whoever was on the other line for saving me. However, that was quickly dashed as Ethan hit the ignore button... never taking his eyes off me in the process.

I was mortified. It was apparent he wanted to discuss what I had just done. He wanted to know what was going on. What I was thinking. Was he going to ask about last night? I really hoped not...

The phone went off again. This time Ethan looked extremely annoyed. He silenced it once more, returning his eyes to mine. I felt like a deer in the headlights. What was I supposed to say? He obviously had feelings for me. I couldnt tell him my sleepy self was pretending he was someone he wasnt. That would not go over well.

Once more the ringtone broke through the tense silence in the room.

We looked at the phone, then back to each other. He didnt decline the call and he didnt say anything. He just stared at me. He stared at me like he expected me to explain myself. Like I should talk first. So, seeking to slay the opportunity, I did. "Are you going to get that?" He furrowed his brows, allowing it to ring one more time.