'Tis confusion!

'gothic trash'

The drive to my place was relatively quiet. Q had the radio on momentarily, but snapped it off when Van Halen came on. "Overplayed tools," He mumbled. I hid a smile.

We arrived at my house. Neither Q nor I had factored the drive time into our journey, so we were just pulling in to my driveway at one fifteen. Q texted Sal and Murr and told them we'd be running late. "It's lucky Carla's is only ten minutes from here," Q remarked. I nodded. "Make yourself at home. I'll be quick." I went to my bedroom. Q sat on the couch and began to pet Java, who immediately started purring.

I quickly peeled off the t-shirt and changed into a green tank top, black jeans and my black boots. I swept my hair back into a high ponytail and slapped on some black eyeliner and mascara. I gave myself one last look in the mirror, then went to the living room. "Ok, I'm ready."

Q stood. "Once again, you look beautiful." He reached for my hand. "Shall we?"

We went back outside and got in the car. Ten minutes later, we arrived at Carla's Diner. Sal and Barbara were already there, and I could see Joe's car approach as we pulled into the parking lot. We all headed inside and were seated at a large table. I quickly skimmed the menu. Carla's was a place I'd been before, but not too recently. Lots of things on the menu sounded amazing. Barbara and I ended up ordering the same thing, the maple bacon BLT and a fruit salad cup. Bessy ordered the cranberry walnut oatmeal, and Emily got a tuna melt and fries. The boys didn't need any time at all to decide. Q and Sal got the steak sandwich with cajun fries, Joe got three maple bacon doughnuts and a side order of the maple bacon, and Murr chose the peanut butter and jelly milk shake and a grilled cheese sandwich. As we waited for our food, several people came over to the table and asked the boys for autographs. They obliged.  Shortly thereafter, a couple of teen girls approached the table,  giggling like mad. They practically shoved one another out of the way to be the first one to the table, then all but threw themselves in Sal and Q's lap. Barbara and I looked at one another and rolled our eyes. 

"OH man, I can't believe it's the Impractical Jokers! Oh man, I'm gonna pee myself! I can't believe it! you guys are SO HOT. " One of them screeched. Sal smiled politely. "Nice to meet you guys. I'm sorry, but we're just trying to have a quiet lunch here. Did you guys want a quick picture or something before our food comes?" 

"OHMYGOD Sal's gonna take a picture with us! I can't even!" They laughed, and one pulled out her cell phone and passed it to Q, nearly shoving me out of my seat next to him in the process.

I stared daggers at them. "Excuse me-"

The blonder one cut me off mid sentence. "Uhmmm, yeah, excuse yourself. Like, wait in line. We were here first." Everyone at our table was now giving the girls dirty looks. Q slid the girls phone back across the table at them. "Actually, " he told them coldly, She was here first. she came with us. I'm sorry to say you're the ride ones here. Now, if you still want your picture, I'm gonna have to ask you to apologize to this lovely lady." I turned and looked coldly at them, waiting on their decision. One of the girls frowned. "I'm sorry about my friend. She gets stupid around hot guys." "That's nice of you to say, but it's not you I want the apology from," I told her. I looked at her friend. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever. I'm sorry I pushed you out of the way. But maybe you shouldn't have been sitting right next to him, then you wouldn't have gotten nudged. "

"Why shouldn't she be sitting next to me?" Q demanded. "I repeat, she came with us."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Still, why can't she sit next to one of the other girls?"

Q opened his mouth to answer, but just then the waiter appeared with our meals.

"Maple bacon BLT with fruit salad?" The waiter passed the plate to Q, who handed it off to me. "Here you go, babe."

The teens stared at him. I could see the lightbulb go off over their heads. 

"Uhg, really?" One of them asked Q. Sal jumped in. "Ok, ladies, I think it's time for you to go. We'd like to eat our meals in peace."

They protested for a minute, but Sal and  the others stood firm. They stalked off, grumbling under their breath about  'trashy purple haired hoes.' I was fuming at this point. Q touched my arm. "You ok?" "Oh yeah, just dandy." I replied. The waiter came over to our table just then. "Is everything good over here? Can I get anyone a refill?" I stared across the table at Murr's milkshake, and suddenly had an idea pop into my head. 

"Do you guys still carry the Death by Chocolate shake?"

"We sure do, can I get you one?"

"Please." Q was looking at me curiously. I had the sudden suspicion he could read my mind. I shook off the thought and returned my attention to the food and conversation. I took a bite of my sandwich. "Oh man, Joe, you weren't kidding. This bacon is amazing." I took a sip of my coffee, then looked at Murr. "I meant to ask you, how did you and Emily meet? All Sal told us was that you ran into each other at the supermarket."

Murr laughed. "That is a funny story. Uhm, Sal's right. I quite literally ran into Emily at the grocery store. She dropped a can of corn, and when she leaned over to pick it up, I kinda..didn't see her and ran my cart into her." Murr was blushing tomato red by this part, but Emily was laughing so hard she was almost crying.  She told us "Never in a million years did I think I'd be run over in the grocery store by James Murray. I almost cried when I saw it was him. He offered to buy me lunch that day, and...here we are." she shrugged. We finished eating and flagged the waiter down for the checks. I noticed that none of the guys would let any of us girls pay for our meals. Emily, Barbara, Bessy, and I all insisted on splitting the tab, but the boys were having none of it. The waiter returned to collect the checks and bring our to-go boxes, and my milkshake. "Sorry it took so long," the waiter told me. "I put it in a to-go cup for you." I smiled at him. "Thank you." I pushed my chair back and got up from the table. "Give me a minute, guys. I'll be right back." Popping the lid off the cup, I stuck a straw in and took a long sip. "Yum.This is delicious. Shame I won't get to enjoy it." I saw Q's eyes widen. "Mara, what-" "Shh. Just wait. I'll be right back," I repeated. I walked to the table near the back, where the obnoxious teens sat giggling over their plates. As I got closer, I heard the rude one say something yet again about me. "Like, I still can't believe that. Q is so hot. Why would he want gothic trash? I bet she's just easy-" I cleared my throat. They looked up in surprise. "Ladies, a couple words of advice. First, it's not nice to gossip about someone. It's actually really fucking rude. Second-" I motioned with my head to the blonde's all-white outfit, " You really shouldn't wear all white, sweetie. You look like a diaper." In one swift move I poured the entire Chocolate shake over her head. She screamed and leaped from the booth. "What the hell is your problem, you stupid whore?" I laughed as the chocolate sludge streamed down her shoulders. "Well, now you look like  a DIRTY diaper. I told you, don't wear all white. It's not a good look." She stood there, silently fuming. I turned and walked back to my table. Q stared at me, then his face broke into a grin. "That was the most wonderful thing I think I've ever seen."