Sorrow's Promise

Chapter 23

"Fire!" Blue flames shot from the tip of my Keyblade as I skidded across the dirt on my back. Riku blocked the Dark Firaga easily with his sword, but it gave me enough time to roll over and get my feet back under me before having to dodge his return shot.

At the beginning, Riku had been very wary of actually using magic on me during our training sessions. He had no problem with me shooting spells at him, since he could generally block them, but it had taken a bit of convincing and a bit of improvement in my own blocking skills before he was ready to actually make it a fair fight. We always kept a good supply of potions on hand, too, just in case.

As a result, these days when we sparred it was a lot more intense than it had been starting out. There was less joking and complimenting, but plenty of dirt, sweat, near-misses, and dark spells. It was still fun, though, in its own way. With several new dark powers under my belt, I was feeling more and more confident with each passing day.

Concentrating hard on the darkness within me, I sped forward at a pace I had not believed possible a couple of weeks ago, until I was right in front of Riku. He sensed me coming and raised Soul Eater to block my incoming swing, but with all of the speed that I had behind it he was knocked off balance and nearly lost his grip on the sword. I saw my opening and took it, using my own foot to swipe his out from under him, making him be the one to land on his butt for once. My Keyblade was at his chest before he could react.

"Do you surrender?" I panted triumphantly.

A wide smile spread across Riku's face, despite the fact that he was sprawled inelegantly on the ground. "I've never been so proud to be beaten in my life," he proclaimed. "Congratulations, Meli!"

I dropped my Keyblade to my side, beaming. "I did it! I finally beat you!"

"I knew you could do it," Riku responded, still grinning up at me.

"I didn't," I laughed, dismissing my Keyblade so I could offer him my hand. "I honestly wasn't sure this day would ever come."

"Well, that just means that you need to have more faith in yourself." Riku grasped my hand and pulled himself up off the ground, ending up standing mere inches away from me. My heart skipped a beat. I gave a nervous laugh and started to back up, but he didn't let go of my hand. "I really am proud of you, Meli," he said softly, bending his forehead down until it almost touched mine. "You've come so far."

My stomach fluttered and I felt my ears begin to burn. What was going on here? Why was he so close to me, and more importantly, why did it make me feel like this? "Thanks," I managed to whisper after swallowing a couple of times.

Suddenly he closed the short distance between us, and our lips met. My eyes flew wide open in shock, and I stood frozen with my heart racing and my feet glued to the ground. My mind was screaming out all kinds of protests, telling me to pull away, but despite all of that I found myself closing my eyes and melting into the kiss. His lips were so soft and warm, and he tasted like mint, and he was kissing me with a kind of gentle longing that I had never felt before. His fingers slid into my hair, and shivers went racing up and down my spine.

Then, just as suddenly, the logical, screaming side of my brain finally broke through, and I stumbled away backwards with the back of my hand to my lips. "What...what was that?" I blurted breathlessly.

"I'm sorry, I've wanted to do that for a really long time now, but...I shouldn't have just sprung it on you with no warning," Riku replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Why did you do that?" My mind and my whole body were a whirlwind of confusion and conflicting emotions, making me feel like I was on the verge of some kind of meltdown. "Why would you..." I couldn't even bring myself to say the word kiss. "Why would you do that?"

Riku looked understandably hurt, but I was in too much shock to be any more courteous right this second. "Because I care about you, Meli," he answered quietly. "Maybe you hadn't realized it before...I'm terrible at sharing my feelings, so I tend to try to keep things like that hidden, I guess. But I've felt...an attraction to you, ever since you first got here, and that has only grown the more I've gotten to know you."

I gripped the sides of my head with both hands, trying to process what he was telling me. Riku had feelings for me? How had I not noticed that? Did I have feelings for him? The very thought of it filled me with a sense of unease. At the same time, though, I knew it could be possible. That kiss had been...my heart sped up just remembering it.

After an awkwardly long moment of silence, Riku spoke up again. "Should I...assume that you don't feel the same way?" His voice was slightly hoarse with emotion.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I dug my fingers down into my hair. "I don't know. It's not that I don't...I really don't know what I feel. It's just..." Releasing my hair, I hugged myself with my arms. "I can't." I ducked my head, tears burning my eyes. "I'm so sorry, but I can't."

"You can't what?" Riku questioned gently, walking a few steps towards me.

"I can't...care about anyone," I choked. "Not just you. Anyone. I can't, because the last time I cared about somebody..."

"Yeah," Riku murmured, reaching out and touching my arms lightly. "I know."

My words tumbled out rapidly now, spilling over along with my tears. "That's the only relationship I've ever been in, so to me, being in a relationship means being controlled, and caged, and...and hurt, and I just..."

"You're not ready," Riku finished for me. "I understand. You need time to heal."

"I honestly don't know if I'm ever going to be ready," I sobbed, shaking my head. "It might at least take me a really long time."

"I'll wait," Riku responded immediately. He placed his index finger under my chin and tipped it up so that I was looking him in the face. "Meli, you are the one bright spot in my dreary, dark world. Before you showed up in the basement that day, I had nothing left to live for except a promise to protect Sora. Now I have you, to look forward to seeing every morning, and to bring actual joy and laughter back into my life. It's not just that, though – you're more than just a friend. I..." He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Like I said, I'm terrible at talking about my feelings, but...no one has ever made me feel the way that I do when I'm with you."

Riku paused, taking in a deep breath. "I will never, ever hurt you, Meli. I promise you that. Hurting you is the last thing in the universe that I would ever want to do. Do you know how much it killed me, seeing you hurting that night after he...?" He trailed off, swallowing the wave of emotion. "I think that was actually the first time I realized just how much I cared about you. But I understand your need to heal, and I will wait for as long as it takes. When you're ready, and if you want to...I'll show you what being in a relationship is really supposed to be like. Okay?"

The tenderness and sincerity of his words pierced straight through to my heart and took my breath away. "Okay," I whispered through a fresh downpour of tears. "I have no idea why you would care so much about somebody like me, but..." I looked back down at my feet. "Thank you, for understanding."