Sorrow's Promise

Chapter 42

Springlock2:  Glad you're excited for what's to come!

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The days and weeks stretched on endlessly like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. Saix teleported me out of my cell at least every other day, forcing me to take him to a different place in my universe each time – now with the stipulations that it had to be populated, and not the beach. He left me sitting in various spots, sometimes in a back alley, or an abandoned shed, or just tucked away in a corner where no one would notice me, and disappeared on whatever his quest was with orders for me not to move. I obeyed everything he said without question, not wanting to ever give him a reason to use that thing on me again.

Not that my obedience actually fully kept him from using it. Anything that he saw as an infraction or inconvenience, no matter how minor, might prompt him to dole out punishment. Also, depending on his mood, some days he would turn it on the first level when he left, despite the fact that he would sometimes be gone for multiple hours at a time, just to remind me what would happen if I got cocky. Those days, I spent most of my time alone just forcing myself to keep taking deep breaths, and trying to keep my mind occupied with faraway thoughts.

After a trip like that, I couldn't even eat the meager meals that they brought us, and would end up giving it all to Kairi. I had been giving her more and more of my food anyway, sometimes from lack of appetite, and other times for fear of the nausea that would follow if it ended up being one of the bad days. Kairi put up a fuss about it to start with, but gave up after finally realizing that I wasn't going to change my mind. I found out it made her feel better, though, if I kept at least a tiny portion of bread for myself, so I often would do so and make myself nibble on it throughout the day.

The extra food she was getting might not have been much, but I could see the difference it was making. She had more color in her cheeks, and more life in her eyes. That alone was enough to satisfy me. My own face I had accidentally caught a glimpse of in the tiny mirror one day when I was about to create a portal, and I had barely recognized the ghost of a person staring back at me. She looked much thinner and paler than I ever remembered being myself, and her eyes had ghastly black bags underneath them. Maybe it was a good thing that Sora and Riku weren't coming, after all. I really didn't want anyone to see me like this.

Riku had been right about one thing – Kairi was definitely a ball of sunshine. Even locked in a dungeon, she was eternally optimistic. Whether it was for real, because I had told her that Sora was going to come, or a show for my sake, I wasn't sure, but regardless, I tried not to let my own increasing pessimism get in her way. I steadfastly refused to tell her what was happening whenever I disappeared, no matter how much I knew she wanted me to. Not only did I not want to relive it by talking about it, I also didn't want to corrupt her innocence. She seemed like the type of person who didn't actually realize how evil people could be.

Instead, we filled our time by telling each other stories from our pasts. I chose mine carefully, trying to keep them lighthearted and fun, and deferred to Kairi's storytelling as often as possible. She had plenty of tales about growing up with Sora and Riku that brought a smile to my face and let my mind escape for a little while.

"Tell me about Riku," I requested one day as I sat shivering against the cold stone.

Kairi raised an eyebrow in question. "Riku? What about him? I mean, I've told you several stories about him already..."

I had told her stories about him, too, but had conveniently left his name out. "Yeah, I know, but...just about him, in general. I traveled with Sora for a while, so I know him, but...I hear a lot about Riku, and I just wondered what he was like." Riku had been on my mind more often than not during these long days, and I was missing him even more now than before. I had come to a point where I was ready to consider that perhaps his excuses were valid, after all, and it had occurred to me that Kairi might be the best person to shed some light on his true personality.

Kairi leaned her head back against the wall and drew in a deep breath. "Well, it's been a long time since I've seen him. But Riku is...the most reliable friend you could ever ask for. He's always around when you need him, and he notices everything, and I mean everything, so there's no way you can lie to him." She smiled fondly as she spoke. "He tries to act all tough, but he's really just a big softy when you get to know him. He's super reserved most of the time, so it's really hard to get him to open up about his own feelings, even though he always wants to know everyone else's. I always used to try to get him to tell me about what was going on at home and everything, but he never wanted to say."

"He had a rough home life?" I already knew the answer, but I didn't want her to stop talking yet.

"Yeah," Kairi sighed. "He didn't always have it as easy as Sora and I did, and I think that had a lot to do with the bad decisions he ended up making a couple of years ago."

"You mean teaming up with Maleficent, and giving into the darkness?" Kairi gave me a funny look, and I hurried to explain. "I've...heard the story before. From Sora." This was true, Sora had told me the story from his perspective.

"Right, that's what I meant," Kairi nodded. "Riku may not share what he's feeling very often, but when he feels something strongly he tends to act on it, sometimes rather rashly. He's got a good heart, though, and always means the best."

I turned my head to study her through the bars. "So...you don't blame him, then, for what he did? Even though it caused you to lose your heart, and...and all those other bad things that happened?"

"No, of course not," Kairi replied wholeheartedly. "Everybody makes bad choices sometimes. He couldn't have known what the consequences were going to be, and I think he tried his best to right those wrongs afterwards."

I sighed and pulled my knees in close. Yen Sid had said that Sora and his friends were good examples of forgiveness, and apparently that extended to Kairi, too. Everything that she had just told me about Riku lined up exactly with what I had seen in him, myself, back when we were living at the mansion. Making a rash decision based on a strong feeling about something? That definitely sounded like what had happened with Roxas and Ansem that day. He was paying the consequences of it, too, by being stuck in one of his worst enemies' body. He also seemed to be trying his best to fix what he had messed up – namely, our friendship.

Maybe Kairi was right. I had been quick to judge him because of my own past experiences, quick to decide that he must be a bad person, rather than a good person who made a bad choice. Maybe it was time to stop punishing him for that choice, and give him a second chance. That didn't mean that I was ready to fully trust him again, but I felt like I was finally ready to forgive. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, a weight lifted from my shoulders. A single tear slid down my cheek, and I quickly dashed it away before Kairi could see.

"Are you okay, Meli?"

"Yeah," I answered, trying to sound nonchalant. "I'm just...cold." A shiver shook my body as if on cue.

"Hmm, seems like you're always cold," Kairi mused. "Wonder if there's a draft over there."

I started to answer, but caught sight of the dreaded black wisps beginning to form around my body. My heart plummeted to the floor. Glancing over at Kairi, I could see that she had noticed them, too. "Guess I've gotta go," I quipped, my voice slightly hoarse. I didn't meet her eyes, not wanting her to see the fear in mine.

"I'm sorry," Kairi murmured. She might not have known exactly what was happening while I was gone, but she could tell it wasn't good, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. "I'll see you later, 'kay?"

I just nodded, biting my lip to keep the tears at bay as the darkness engulfed me.