Sorrow's Promise

Chapter 39

A/N:  My apologies for being a day late.  I knew I was forgetting something on my to-do list yesterday!

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I waited until I was sure Sora and the others were gone before speaking again. "I know it's you," I called out, trying my best to keep my voice steady. "You can come out now."

Sure enough, I heard the crunching of footsteps in the snow behind me. "Hi, Meli," that strange, deep voice said quietly. "I was hoping we would get to talk again."

"You must have been pretty desperate, to expose yourself to Sora like that," I commented without turning around. "He knew it was you, you know."

"I know." The footsteps walked closer, and soon I could see the black coat in my peripheral vision, though still a few yards away. "I'm glad you stayed behind," Riku spoke again. "I wasn't sure that you would."

I let out a huff of air that had some resemblance to a laugh, my breath forming a cloud in the frigid air. "I wasn't sure if I would, either, and I'm still not sure that I won't regret it. So whatever you have to say to me...better make it good."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did. For...hitting you."

"Yeah, you said that already," I cut him off, still staring at a randomly chosen point in the snow. "Didn't fix anything."

"I know. I didn't expect to fix it," Riku responded. "I...can't fix it. I can't change what happened. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep apologizing until...until maybe, one day, you can forgive me."

"Forgive you?" I repeated incredulously. I shook my head. "I don't...know if that's possible."

"I understand that you can't yet..."

"I'm not talking about yet." I finally spun around to face him. "I'm talking about ever. You promised me, Riku."

He nodded, dropping his chin down to his chest. "I know. I know I did."

"You promised me that you would never hurt me." My voice rose slightly and I dug my fingernails into my palms, but I forced myself to remain calm this time. "You know what I've been through. That was probably the most important promise you could ever make to me. And you broke it."

"But that wasn't me," Riku countered, looking at me with pleading eyes. "Ansem had completely taken over at that point. He's the one who hurt you. I would have never..."

I waved a hand in dismissal and turned my shoulder back to him. "But you let him! Maybe you had no control in that moment, fine. But you're the one who chose to let him take over, knowing full well what he was capable of."

"I never would have guessed that he would do something like that," Riku disagreed.

I just crossed my arms and shook my head, already tired of hearing his excuses. There was nothing he could say that was going to make me feel better about any of it, no matter how much I wanted it to.

"Meli...I love you."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise and my heart started beating double time, but I stayed still, refusing to look at him.

"I told you before that I cared about you, and you being gone has just made me realize even more just how much I do," he continued. "I love you. I made a stupid, idiotic decision that ended with you getting hurt, and I will always hate myself for that. But it will never happen again, and I will promise you once again that I, myself, will never hurt you."

"Do you know how many times I've heard that same old lie...'I'm sorry, it will never happen again'?"

"But I'm not him," Riku said emphatically, taking a chance and stepping in closer to me.

I turned my face even farther away from him. "Aren't you?" I murmured.

"No!" Riku returned, sounding hurt. "Aiden may have said he loved you, but his actions never lined up. I do love you, and I will...walk on water, or do whatever else it takes, to prove it to you."

I let his words sink in for a moment. I could feel myself softening, wanting to give in, wanting to forgive him and declare my feelings for him right then and there. But I had been there and done that so many times before, and look where it had gotten me. I wasn't that girl anymore. Or at least, I was ready not to be.

At last, I turned to face him, but backed a couple of steps away. "I'm sorry, Riku. I want to be able to forgive and trust you. I really do. But...you're the one who has been urging me these months that I've known you to stand up for myself, to know when enough is enough and it's time for me to say 'no more'." I sucked in a deep breath, the cold stinging my nose. "So that's what I'm doing. I'm standing up for myself. And unfortunately, that means that I can't forgive you, at least not right now. Especially not...as long as you're...wearing that face."

Riku looked down at the ground again and gave an almost imperceptible nod. "Yeah. I understand." Raising his eyes to meet mine, he smiled sadly. "Take care of yourself, Meli. Your darkness has been growing, I can sense it. I know that I'm probably to blame for that, but...just be careful, okay?" He paused a moment before adding, "I'll see you later."

There was a catch in my throat, and I could only nod in return. I turned my back at the same time that he did, beginning the march towards the Imperial City as he disappeared into a dark corridor. I knew I could use a corridor, myself, but I needed some time alone to think. Maybe the walk through the snow would clear my head before I had to meet back up with Sora and the gang.

I had been walking for around ten minutes when I sensed that I was no longer alone. Halting mid-step, I stiffened and let my eyes dart back and forth over the white landscape. Something was definitely not right. In one swift movement, I spun around and summoned my Keyblade to my hand. Standing not far behind me were two of the lesser Nobodies, the huge ones with legs and arms the size of tree trunks like we had fought in Twilight Town on our last visit. They had been tough to beat then, and that was with all of us working together. Now it was just me, with no one else around for miles.

They began advancing towards me, and I quickly shot Dark Firaga at each of them, but they merely flinched and kept coming. I tried orbs of dark energy next, starting to panic a little, but nothing seemed to sway them from their mission. Before I could muster another spell, one of them swung its giant claymore right at me. I blocked with my Keyblade, but the Nobody was incredibly strong and I couldn't hold him off for long. As I stumbled sideways, the second claymore came whizzing towards my head, and I had to lean back so far to avoid it that I lost my balance and fell to the ground. Immediately I rolled over onto my back, but as soon as I did there were two sharp blades jabbing into the snow on either side of my neck, blocking any further movement. Gasping for air, I blinked up at the Nobodies towering over me, wondering why they weren't just killing me.

"A valiant effort, but there's no use continuing to struggle."

I knew that voice. Cutting to my eyes to the side, I could just see the blue-haired man walking towards me. "What do you want?" I croaked, trying not to move my throat too much for fear of it being sliced open.

The man smirked. "You'll find out, soon enough." I shifted my hand by my side, getting ready to open a corridor beneath me and escape. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," he warned smoothly. "Don't you think I planned for your dark abilities? If you try to enter the In Between, there will be plenty of Dusks waiting there to meet you."

I glanced back over at him, then up at the two faceless monsters above me. I couldn't tell if he was bluffing or not, but staying here certainly wasn't going to work in my favor. "I'll take my chances," I remarked before sinking down into the darkness.

My plan had been to immediately open another corridor into the Imperial City, where Sora and the gang should be waiting, before Mr. Blue Hair could catch up. But as soon as I landed in the In Between, I was overtaken by Dusks. Apparently he hadn't been kidding about being prepared. They jumped on top of me, clawing and biting, and no matter how many I threw off there were more right behind. Through the flurry of white, out of the corner of my eye, I could see the man enter and shake his head at me.

"See now, Meli, if you had just listened, you could have avoided all of this pain," he chided. "That will be an important lesson for you, in the days to come."

I saw his hand move, swinging towards the back of my neck in a karate chop motion, but I just barely felt the impact before I was out cold.