The Loneliest Person (Someone Like Me) [Mina x Sana]

Chapter 8: Heaviest Concern

Sana found herself soaking in a warm bath soon after accepting and returning Mina's confession just moments ago. Even though her heart felt warmer right now than it had felt in a long time, her body was still frozen from standing outside in the cold for almost an hour, most of which was without a coat.

Mina had drawn her the warm bath with utmost care, had led her to the bathroom and had even started to remove Sana's clothes for her until a shy and pink faced Sana asked her to stop. Mina merely smiled back at the older girl in amusement, quickly letting go of Sana's partially removed top.

"Take your time and get warmed up," Mina told Sana kindly. She placed a quick, affectionate kiss on the tip of Sana's nose and then walked away, leaving Sana to the privacy of her thoughts.

As Sana soaked her frozen body in the steamy water, she tried to process the entire conversation on the balcony with Mina that had culminated in their first and fiery kiss with each other. Sana's initial reaction was to be grateful that Mina had been brave enough to confess and subsequently guide Sana's less courageous heart to accept the confession. Her second reaction was just sheer embarrassment from having cried so much. But perhaps it was all for the best, because those sincere tears led her and Mina to talk openly to each other about their feelings.

Sana leaned back against the bathtub and allowed her body to sink deeper into the warm water, still in disbelief that her lips had kissed Mina's lips just moments ago. She marveled over the fact that Mina's lips were every bit as soft as she imagined, perhaps even moreso.

Her mind ran through the moment that was now burned into her memory, the sight of Mina's beautiful, delicate face coming closer to her own, eyes blazing with an intoxicating mix of tenderness and desire. Sana had felt herself fall even deeper for the younger girl in that kiss. And for the first time ever, Sana found herself thinking that it wasn't the end of the world to be head over heels for Mina.

From the moment they met, Sana knew Mina was a special existence to her. She felt an overwhelming desire to be with Mina and to protect her since their trainee days, but Sana didn't realize what her feelings for Mina meant until much later on. It was so obvious to Sana in hindsight, but she was too young at the time to understand the difference between friendship and love. And even though Sana had never been in love before, she was certain that the feelings she had for Mina right now were love.

But before tonight's confession, Sana never thought Mina would ever return her feelings. So from the very beginning Sana did the only thing she could do and tried to ignore her feelings for the other girl. For the most part, Sana managed to push the love and lust and intense desire for Mina behind an invisible barrier in her heart.

The pangs of longing never completely went away, though. They were muffled behind just enough layers of distraction for Sana to keep herself sane, but she often caught herself thinking about Mina romantically and dreaming about a future that never seemed to come. It was impossible for Sana to forget about Mina or to move on because Mina was always beside her and always doing things that caused Sana's suppressed feelings to flare up again, like this morning when Mina mumbled a faint but unmistakeable, "Sattang" in her sleep.

Sana froze in that instant, just two feet away from Mina's bed and just a few seconds from waking up the younger girl with a forehead kiss. Her heart fluttered as she realized that Mina was dreaming about her. Those dormant feelings for Mina began hammering against the barrier in her heart that Sana had spent weeks, months, and years building and rebuilding, opening the smallest crack despite Sana's best efforts to contain her feelings.

Try as she might, it was impossible for Sana to behave 100% normally around Mina today. Right after waking Mina up this morning, Sana had accidentally let Mina see the loneliness in her heart that only Mina could've filled. When Tzuyu was leaving and Mina gave Tzuyu a hug, Sana's loneliness slipped out again for just a moment as Sana wondered, "when was the last time that Mina hugged me as warmly as that"? And again at lunch time, when Mina refused to go shopping with her, Sana was certain that Mina had noticed that the crack in her heart's barrier was now a crater.