cream on lollipops

07

⚠️ Warning: the following content will involve self harm! If you wish to skip this chapter or find his topic sensitive please skip!! Doing so will not affect anything. ⚠️

it had been 2 weeks now since the slap incident. Jungkook had decided to let it go and look for a job, leaving yoongi alone at the apartment.

Yoongi was currently trying to keep himself focused on something, anything really, but nothing seemed to ease his mind.

His own thoughts were beating at him and eating him alive as he made his way towards his small bathroom in his lonely dark room.

You're worthless.
.
Nobody wants you.
.
Pathetic
.
you're a fool for loving hoseok
.
heck not even hoseok can stand you anymore.
.
You're weak for not standing up to him.
.
Disgrace.
.
Why not just end your own suffering.
.
Disgusting.
.
Piece of trash.

"Shut up! Shut up! Stop!" Yoongi yelled while placing his hands on his ears and dropping to the ground on his knees. Awful thoughts were weighing him down and he pulled his hair out of frustration as he couldn't control it anymore.

Look at you.
.
Just do it already.
.
Go on.
.
Kill yourself.
.
No one will care.
.
It won't be long before everyone leaves you.

Suddenly yoongi's mind went blank and he stood up. There were no emotions on his face and he just stared at himself though the mirror. He felt his reflection changing and he could no longer recognize himself.

Look at how fat you are.
.
That's probably why hoseok no longer loves you anymore.
.
Who would want a pig?

rage and sadness soon clouded yoongi's thoughts and he forcefully pulled open a cabinet looking for a razor to release the pain. He wasn't thinking straight. Yoongi presses the razor on top of the previous pinkish scar tissue, breathing heavily.

Come on you big sissy, afraid of a little blood?
.
Do it, you'll feel better.

It wasn't long before yoongi added more pressure onto the blade and started to move it horizontally towards the right. Blood quickly started oozing out and yoongi loved it. He loved the adrenaline that went through his body during each cut he made. His mind was blank at this moment, and he wasn't thinking at all. He looked down at the red small rivers that his wrist created and how they flowed down and formed a bigger lake on the pearl white bathroom floor. The sight was astonishing for him.

To yoongi, cutting felt like he was releasing all those emotions that were bottled up inside of him flow out. It took his mind off of things and he felt like he really needed that.

After a while yoongi stood up and cleaned up his beautiful red mess that was scattered everywhere. He then bandaged his 4 cuts and walked out feeling a bit light headed. Yoongi decided to spend the rest of his free day watching tv and eventually falling asleep. He made sure to wear a hoodie In case jungkook came.

❀

A/n- well umm... that was pretty descriptive I'm sorry..