Bloom.

Getting to Know Myself

Now I'm alone.
Completely, utterly alone.

I said that,
"I don't need a man" that I,
am stronger without a man but now,
without a man,
I feel without on the within.

I never took the time to talk to myself,
to love myself.
I thought I knew myself but,
I don't.

For the first time in years I am alone.
Forced to sit inside the silence and let it simmer.
Forced to come to terms with my mistakes.
THIS is the consequence for your action.
THIS is why you are alone.

But this time there's no one to hold me when I cry.
This time,
there's no one to tell me it'll be alright.
This time,
there's no one to help me realise that the sadness I feel inside,
is because I've never been alone.

Alone is not the enemy.
Alone is the friend I called a bitch and threw a drink on.
Alone is the mother I argue with because I know I'm right, so fuck you.
Alone is what I have to be,
To simply be,
me.

I cannot be afraid to be alone anymore.
Replacing men like gauze,
shoving them into the wound.
Removing the bloody rag once it's served it's purpose,
or when I get scared.

Alone is not the enemy.
The emptiness inside is the enemy.
Alone is just a lesson,
that I'm being forced to learn.

That lesson is coming,
like it or not.
That lesson is hard,
like it or not.
That lesson is necessary as a remedy to heal myself.

Because god knows no one will do it for me.