i just rlly need to vent rn but i don't want to go to my friends and get their pity.
i honestly want to die. i have suicidal thoughts a lot. i hate my life a lot even though it can be worse.
i have great friends and stuff, but fuck. everything about myself sucks and I just hate living in my body.
im so confused about my feelings for my so called crush and just everything.
everything just hurts.
i hate it.
i had a total of 3 anxiety attacks today with 3 ( at the max ) hours of sleep. im so damn tired but sleep couldn't even fix this shit.
i feel numb, extremely numb. you know that feeling when you're done crying and you're just sitting there, silent? yeah that's how I feel 24/7.
i went to the bathroom during English and I cried in the bathroom then came back like everything is fine.
sigh, I want to vent to an actual person but I don't fucking want them to think im making them pity me into a damn friendship. I hate making people feel pity and I just– im bottling my emotions up way too damn much.
welp bye,, I'm totally not going to have another break down during my shower.
