Everyone starts from somewhere right? Hope proves that when she takes us through her mom Kae's journal to tell us her parents' story. We all want to know how Chrae came to be; well you're about to find out!
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My mom wrote a few journal entries before the one on my birthday. My fifteenth; which was her and dad's sixteenth wedding anniversary. It turned out to be my worst ever, my mom being diagnosed with cancer. Six months later, two days after Maurice's tenth birthday, she was gone. I remember just how good things were too when she was diagnosed... Dad had moved back home almost a year ago and my little sister Faith was now three months old. That day, I got the news about the school play.
I was so excited to share it when I got home. Because it was my birthday, my drama teacher let us leave early to go celebrate. My best friends and I took that opportunity for me to go shopping for my early dinner date with dad. When I got home an hour earlier than expected, my whole world came crashing down. I have never seen my dad break down like that and meme couldn't do anything but hold him. She saw me first and warned him. What I didn't know was what went down beforehand until now...
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After that whole thing went down five years ago, I never thought we'd get to this place. Granted both of us had faith and prayed about it, hence why Chris and I chose that for our third child's name. Faith Tientrese Brown. Knowing what was to come, I wanted her to have my middle name the moment we found out the sex. This pregnancy was smooth; a blessing in itself. I just couldn't handle bringing a child into this world knowing they won't remember me. I wasn't reveling in that though; it's not healthy.
It would cause me to not be in the moment and lose out on the time I did have. She wouldn't even be one when I'm supposed to... I can't even say it out loud now. Since I got home from the hospital, something has had me sick enough. The crazy thing was that one moment I was fine and then I wasn't. Like I was having post morning sickness. Chris wasn't having it and kept the doctors updated but nothing alarmed them which resulted in them wanting to run tests. No matter how frequent it was becoming.
That caused us to get a second opinion but even that doctor said I was fine. We were getting worried. My symptoms hadn't been heard of so I was able to stay home. I was just thankful it wasn't contagious, or it didn't seem to be, with the kids or Chris not being sick too. It did make me stop breastfeeding Faith though. What I was hoping for was Trey and Mel to reach out and tell me something... ANYTHING... So I knew what was happening to me. If a doctor didn't have answers, I knew they did. Today, I just hope goes well.
