My Ghost

twenty-seven

two days later: GCPD Annual Dinner in honor of past District Attorney Harvey Dent

As I enter city hall, I take a shaky breath, attempting to exhale all of the events from the past few weeks. I watch my father as he strides through the doors before me, a smile on his face as he greets Commissioner Gordon. I follow behind him, picking at the skirt of my dress nervously. This was my first public event since I had crashed the benefit on Christmas, it was going to be a handful.

"Ray, how are you this evening?" Gordon asks, glancing around my father.

"I'm good, looking forward to the delicious food we'll be having," I banter.

"I agree, Harvey would have loved it," Gordon replies, his voice falling slightly.

"We will remember him and his sacrifices always, they will forever outweigh the mayhem he has become," my father states, his voice firm and unwavering.

"Thank you, Sebastian. Shall we take our seats?"

My father nods and I follow the older men to our table towards the front of the room. We're about two rows away from a small stage and podium, where my father and those who were close to Harvey would speak and share memories.

"So Ray, how have you been adjusting?" Gordon asks.

"Fairly well," I answer, knowing damn well it's a lie. "I've spent some time getting used to living on my own again and feeling safe."

"Where have you been living?"

"An old friend of mine has an apartment here, but he's out of town for a while. He left me a key so that I could stay there while he was gone."

"That's kind of him," my father notes, and I simply nod in response.

"I really am sorry we haven't spent more time together," I tell my father sincerely. "I just don't want to be in the public eye right now as I gather my bearings and, unfortunately, there's no avoiding that with you."

"I understand dear, I'm not upset at all. I'm just so glad that you're here," he replies, smiling and laying his hand overtop of mine.

"Who's the friend who's lent you the space?" Gordon asks, and I shoot him a glare.

"I don't see where that's any of your concern, Commissioner."

"Ray, don't be rude," my father warns me quietly.

"I just want to be able to best protect you," Gordon informs me. "I can't do that if I don't know the facts."

"Maybe I don't need you to protect me," I snap back, taking a deep breath in an attempt to control my anger. "I apologize, but I'm fine on my own."

"You've been insisting that yet you were threatened, shot, and disappeared because you can handle it alone," Jim argues back. "I'm not taking anymore risks with you, Ray. I'm sick of you disregarding your own life when people care about you."

My stomach immediately somersaults and I feel as though I can't breathe. I felt as though Jim knew what happened, yet I know he didn't. Nobody knew but me.

"I'm going to be sick," I mutter, standing up and rushing across the room to the bathroom. I feel as though the walls are closing in on me and that everyone's eyes watch me in my frenzy. I hear my father call for me, but it sounds so far behind me now. I nearly collapse into the bathroom door as I jiggle the handle and rush inside. Thankfully, the room is empty and the first "stall" is unlocked. I hurry inside the space and lock the door behind me, sinking to sit on the floor. I rest my head back against the door, attempting to regain my breath and my thoughts.