Assassin's Creep

Part VI

Arno, Connor, Edward and Ezio congregated outside Elise’s house. Ezio knew that he had to find Altair before they could confront the Templars.

“Alright, boys,” Ezio began, “Does anyone have any idea of where we might find Altair?”

Three hooded heads shook simultaneously. Ezio sighed.

“Well, I don’t know about you, amici, but I need a drink. To Where’s the Rum Gone, then?” He suggested.

“Aye, mate!” Edward agreed.

“What a stupid name for a tavern. If the sign is questioning its own supply of alcohol, I’m not going.” Arno protested.

“I don’t mind going.” Connor added.

“That’s because you’re a drunkard, you American bâtard!” Arno snarled.

“Oi, keep it civil, boys! Arno, keep your mouth shut. My grandson may be a frigid little girl, but he knows how to drink.” Edward said.

One hour later…

Lady Gaga’s Poker Face blasted from the small tavern on the corner of 5th Street. Inside, Connor stomping on a Dance Dance Revolution machine, the other three Assassins shouting drunkenly as he reached a new high score.

“Best. Grandson. Everrrrrrrrrr!” Edward slurred as he downed another pint of beer.

Arno’s mood lightened after Ezio got a little alcohol in him. Performing the worm on the piss-stained pub carpet, Arno busted some badass Assassin moves to the sick beats of Gaga. He popped and locked and spun drunkenly as Ezio watched on, Guido fist-pumping to the beat. He hadn’t had this much fun since using a hookblade in Constantinople.

“Woo! Four-thousand-and-eighty! Beat that motherfuckersssss!” Connor screamed as Poker Face finished.

“Step aside, kid!” Arno said, pushing Connor off the machine, “Hmmm…T-pain’s Low?”

“Fuck yes!” Edward agreed.

The song commenced and Arno began stomping to the beat.

“Apple bottom jeanssss, boots with the furrrrr!” He sang.

Ezio looked over to Edward. He was downing mugs of beer by the minute.

“Are you going to give it a go?” Ezio asked, “We didn’t have these contraptions in Renaissance Italy. Brilliant idea, though!”

“I don’t dance, mate.” Edward replied.

“Sure you can!” Ezio encouraged, “Just move them pirate hips to the beat. It’ll just be like swaying on a boat.”

“A ship,” Edward corrected, “It’s not a boat. It’s a ship! Why does nobody get that right?”

“Sorry.” Ezio replied.

As the two ended their conversation, the tavern door swung open. Altair was standing in the doorway, his face stern. Arno stopped stomping to the beat of Low and Connor quickly sprinted towards the machine and unplugged it. Altair slammed the door behind him. Ezio cringed as Altair stormed towards him. With cold hands Altair grabbed Ezio by his robes.

“Hey, be careful! These are my good robes!” Ezio exclaimed.

“I couldn’t care less if it’s your best robes, Ezio!” Altair scolded, “You were supposed to be on the lookout when we entered the building. And guess who fell asleep while I needed help? YOU!”

Ezio leaned back as Altair shouted. Connor and Arno were cowering behind Edward, who looked like he couldn’t give a rat’s arse about the dilemma.

“You shouldn’t have fallen asleep, mate.” Edward agreed.

“Shut up you drunken pirate! Nobody cares about your opinion! For the last twelve hours, I’ve been chained to the floor in the Templar Headquarters. Doesn’t sound like fun, does it? WELL ITS NOT! Look at my wrists!” Altair shoved bleeding wrists in Ezio’s face.

“Wow, dude, just chill out!” Edward stepped between the two.

“I’M NOT GOING TO JUST CHILL OUT!” Altair screamed.

Ezio wiped Altair’s spit off his face and cleared his throat.

“Well, I guess this calls for an Assassin meeting,” Ezio sighed, “Everyone go home and clean up. We’ll meet at the Assassin Den at seven tonight.”

“Aye.”

“Fine.”

“Ok.”

“Oui Oui.”

A/N: HEY BITCHEZ! So Assassin's Creep returns for Part VI in a thrilling Dance Dance Revolution dance-off! Part VII is on the way and things are about to get hectic! Pink poodles, dragons, wizards and kitty cats! Sorry i've been so slack with this i've been playing Destiny!!! NOTHING IS TRUE, EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED!