I've missed you [boyxboy]

Chapter 14

I'VE MISSED YOU

• CHAPTER 14 •

Previous chapter:

"I... I have to tell you something..." I said, my voice quivering.

"Go ahead son." my dad said.

"Now or never." I thought to myself.

I felt cold sweat running down my forehead and my hands were shaking. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I... I am gay."

• • •

Both of their mouths fell open. They both shared the same surprised expression. They just stared at me like I grew another head. It was almost funny. Almost.

Beads of cold sweat formed on my forehead and my hands began shaking. I was having second thoughts already, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell them.

We were silent for no more than 30 seconds, but it felt like hours. The whole atmosphere of the room changed from loving and warm to cold and full of tension; the temperature suddenly dropped and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

My dad closed his mouth and then opened it again looking for something to say, but nothing came out. I couldn't take the silence anymore, so I spoke up.

"I'm sorry..." I said barely above whispering.

"Son... I... Well, I just... don't understand..." Dad said still unable to find the correct words.

"Honey... maybe you're just confused..." Mom said hopeful.

"No, mom. I'm not confused and this is not some sort of phase... I... I have always been like this." I said trying to make myself clear.

"Noah, you need to understand that this... well... this will take a while to get used to... But..." dad said and then turned to look at my mom before continuing. "But... Don't forget that both your mother and I love you."

And with that both of them took hold of my hands reassuring that everything was OK. And then the waterfalls turned on. I just couldn't hold my feelings in anymore and cried like a baby.

Both my parent repeated the formula they had used a little while ago to calm me down; showering me with kisses, hugs, kind words, and every expression of love a parent can use.

It took me a while to gain the reign of my emotions again, but even after I had stopped crying, I didn't want to let go of my parents. I had never felt so loved and safe in my life.

We spent the rest of the night talking about me being gay. I opened up and told them everything from liking Jake, to pushing him away, to kissing him during the trip.

I also told them about how I was depressed because I couldn't be myself, and how I used to hate myself for being gay. I didn't tell them that I was at the brink of committing suicide during the trip, but I did tell them that I had contemplated it several times.

When I confessed that, my mom literally broke down crying. She kept saying that she was so blind, that she should have noticed, and I kept saying that it wasn't their fault. At the end they made me promise that I would never do something like that, and that I would come to them when I needed help.

I was very surprised of how supportive they were about everything; true, they were still coming to terms with the news, but they were very receptive and understanding of what I was telling them. It felt amazing to be able to get everything off my chest.