Don't Forget Me ~Stucky/ Cap. America~

Better Than I Know Myself

“What?” Steve shook his head in confusion. “Bucky, what are you talking about?”

Bucky scrunched the papers in his hands, shaking them viciously in the air. “These, Steve. Papers about me, theWinter Soldier. I found them on your dresser thinking they would be about you and your great adventures. But, no, they weren’t. They’re about me and who I killed!”

Steve’s face softened as he looked at Bucky’s heart-broken, terrified expression. His eyes were a glazed over blue-green that mixed much like an ocean after a great storm and the waters are just beginning to calm. Only a few tears had left his eyes in little streams, each one filled with regret.

He carefully walked to Bucky, choosing his words wisely. “They weren’t secrets, Buck. I just didn’t think it would be good for you and your wellbeing to see them yet.”

“My wellbeing!? I’ve been stuck in the dark for almost fifty years not knowing what I was really doing! And all I’ve wanted to do since I’ve remembered you was to try and figure out what I did wrong. You could have at least told me or shown me yourself instead of keeping this from me, hoping I wouldn’t notice!”

Steve inched a little closer, his hands held up in the air, surrendering. “Bucky, I kept them from you to protect you.”

“Oh, bullshit! You kept them so I wouldn’t feel guilty. Well, guess what? It’s a little late for that, Steve!”

The room was filling with emotion and noise; there was so much conflict but none of it was getting resolved. Bucky’s heart sunk a little lower with every word that left his own lips. While Steve, trying to be the calm, productive one, struggled to calm his erratic friend down.

Once again the tears began to stream down Bucky’s face. “And the sad part is I can’t change any of it. I can’t bring back all those innocent people. I can’t bring back Tony Stark’s parents. None of what I did I can change.”

The yelling and constant bickering slowly eased its way down to just gentle conversing as Bucky sat at the couch, holding his head in his palms. Steve followed and sat next to Bucky, thinking of words that would help ease the pain.

Bucky’s voice lowered into a raspy whisper caused by all the screaming. “Underneath I’m no more than an assassin. Underneath I’m just a murderer. Underneath I’m just the Winter Soldier and there will never be any help for a person like me.”

Steve looked over at him. “Oh, Bucky. No, you don’t understand. You’ve changed so much; you’ve been trying to be the old you and you’ve almost achieved that goal. I know what you did after our dispute in New York; you went to see your exhibit in the Smithsonian. That’s when you began to change. Just look how far you’ve come since then. You’re not an assassin or murderer. And you’re not the Winter Soldier. You’re James Buchannan Barnes and you’re my best friend through the ages. You always will be.”

“But, Steve, I can’t take it.” Bucky shook his head, seeing no other option. “I have to give up. It’s only right.”

“No, you don’t Buck. Giving up isn’t going to be an option. It never will be. Remember I’m with you till the end of the line and the line does not end here. You’re the only one that knows me better than I know myself and if I ever lost you again I wouldn’t know what to do with my life.”

Steve stared at Bucky, seeing only a happy yet worried face. It was filled with so much regret and so many stories that were waiting to be told. And Steve wanted to know them all. He had for a while, but he didn’t know when or how to say it. Yes, he’s been going out with Rebekah, but that was only because he grew a fondness of her. Like they were almost best friends. But in actuality, all he really cared about was Bucky.

All those years in the 40s and before, they had made stories of their own. Together. They were always together; there was rarely a moment they weren’t. And all Steve needed to do was say it. He needed to say how a he felt and what he wanted. But there was only one way he could get it all across.

Without much of a second thought, Steve dove for Bucky’s lips. At first it was different. The feel, the taste. It was all odd to Steve, but in a mellowing way. Neither of them were resisting. Nor did they want to. Especially Steve. Each of their lips fit together perfectly, like a mold. For the first time in a long time, Steve was rendered breathless. He lost himself in the perfect chemistry.

In over 90 years, Bucky had never been kissed the way he just had. When he kissed the other girls, there was no spark, no flame. But with Steve, there was a fire, a whole mountain covered in flames. In his head he thought about all the times he and Steve have had close moments. All the times before this same moment could have happened. But right now, it meant more. Bucky had been lost and Steve was there. He always had and always will. 

And there they each sat, in the wonderful darkness, closer than they ever had been before.

 A/N

Well, the moment has arrived my dear Stucky Readers....the kiss! =) I couln't resist not writing it. It was hard not to put it too soon while not pro-longing it too much as well. Personally I kinda feel bad for Bucky. Yah know about the file and his past and all. 

So, I had my Marvel Marathon this weekend too. Starting with Captain America: The First Avenger and ending with Captain America: The Winter Soldier. (Sigh) It was beautiful.  It took roughly 3 days but it was so worth it.

Also, my friend and I got to talking about a thing her and I call "Four Pictures, Four Words." Now, I don't know if any of you have heard of Political Animals but our dear Sebby plays a gay guy and he has a BF in it. Well, my friend and I were perusing Tumblr and we found a special scene with 4 pictures. They're basically tearing each others shirts off, makin out and Sebby's BF in the movie kinda pushes him down, this being the last (4th) picture. Now, the "Four Words" part of it is easy. The words are Sexy Gay Sebastian Stan. Her and I just figured that our Stucky pals would like to know. So, if yah ever want tah look it up, there's your information. LOL

Now, about the Media. This song is one of may of my favorites; Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert. (Yes, I am a Glambert as well) and I thought this song was perfect for this chapter. For both Steve and Bucky. So I definitely recommend listening and watching the video as well. =)

This weeks dedication does to Superheroes_Movies!!! xxx =)