Miss, Miss I Can't Do This. (Camren)

16

CAMILAS P.O.V 

Yesterday/ early this morning was crazy. Seeing Lauren like that. It was weird, especially after seeing her as Miss Jauregui.

I have to admit, I was waiting for her to text me, and when my phone did go of, I basically jumped over my bed to grab it. But I had to make myself wait a second. Couldn't come off as clingy.

Our conversation was a longer than I thought it would be. I was the one to end it though, what was I supposed to write to "I will"?

It's been about an hour since me and Lauren last texted and if I'm being honest, I want to text her again. But I know I can't. The more I think about it, the more I want her. But the more I don't want to hurt her, like if anything that has happened between us got out, that would be her job gone, her in jail, any reputation she had created through the window. Also, her name dragged through the dirt and mine too.

I decide to take a quick shower to take my mind of things, and start playing my Spotify playlists whilst doing stupid dance moves and washing my hair. My music quickly dies down, meaning I have just got a text. I carry on in the shower. 

I'm in there for another 20 minuets, I don't even know how I shower for so long, I just get so lost in my music and being an idiot time fly's.

I get out the shower and grab my towel and wrap it around before my body. Grabbing my phone and my heart immediately does a little jump when I see her name on my screen.

Lauren- Hey. X 

Why's she started the conversation up again? Like the conversation died. She's clearly gone out of her way to message me again.

Camila- Hey? 

I've got to put a question mark, just so she knows I'm confused.

Lauren- Sorry, I know the convo ended but for the last hour all I've been thinking about is something my roommate said. And for the past three weeks all I've been thinking about is you... Before I take this any further. I want to know how and what you feel.

Confused. Tired. Horny. Guilty. Alive. Skeptical. Horny. Anxious. That's everything right?

Camila- how I feel? Confused, constantly. I can't look at you. I sit in class and have to look the other direction. I look at you and my heart hurts, and I don't know fucking why. I want it to stop. But I want to indulge it and you more. I feel on fire whenever im in the same room, same fucking school as you because I know you're there, somewhere and if I see you, I just want to be with you. But I also feel guilty cause I've put what you've worked for your whole life at risk. I'm anxious all the time, whenever a teacher say's my name my heart rate picks up and I immediately begin to blush. At the same time, I feel so fucking alive, I have a secret no one knows about, I have these feeling's I've never felt, that I love having. That's how I feel.

Shit. Where the fuck did all of that come from? I send it quickly before I can over think everything I wrote and regret it. I decided not to include horny.

After a few minutes my phone finally went off. Indicating Lauren had replied.

Lauren- I'm sorry if I've made your life difficult, especially your school life. I don't want to impact your grade's or learning just by me being there. The thing is Camila, everything you're feeling I am too, knowing I'm going to teach you Monday, Wednesday and Friday I subconsciously put more effort into myself that day. I don't even realise I've done it until I look into the mirror. You're something totally knew to me, I've never ever felt this way about someone so quickly before. I have tried to put you behind me, forget what happened. But I can't, it replay's in my mind, 30 times a day, every day. Since I woke up, all I've done is think about you and this fucked up situation. I like you. A lot. 

Camila- I like you a lot too. But we can't do whatever this is, I can't potentially hurt you.

Lauren took 10 minutes to reply, giving me a mini anxiety attack whilst waiting for her to reply.

Lauren- that's what I've been thinking about all day, I told my roommate about you a while ago. I didn't say you are a student. I told her that your parents are against you going out with a girl. I knew she'd tell me to stop if she knew you are a student of mine, and although I've tried to stop you, I can't. I've tried to stop the thoughts of you, the images of you flooding my mind, I even dream about you sometimes. There's no stopping or quitting you it isn't a viable option. I have deep feelings for someone I barely know, which scares the living shit out of me, so when my roommate Mani said that we should hide the relationship from your parents, I thought it was a brilliant idea. We hide it. Cause goddamn it Camila, I really fucking like you and knowing you like me too makes me want you more. I had to tell you the idea, cause if this ends. I want to know I did everything in my power to try continue with you.

Holy shit. So, she wants to risk he whole life for me. Someone she barely knows and has made out with a couple of times. The crazy part is, I want to do it. I like her.

Camila- you want to hide it? How would we hang out? We could never go out anywhere. We couldn't walk down the street holding hands. We can't get caught. We can't go out on dates. Class would be unbelievably awkward. And then there's always the chance that somehow, some way someone finds out about us and reports it.

Lauren- How hard could it be? Just don't tell anyone you're in a relationship, tell your parents you're out with friends. You could hang at mine; Mani wouldn't suspect a thing. We could go for a long drive to a different state for a weekend or something, have dates out of town, hold hands in LA. Class wouldn't have to be awkward if I got you transferred. I think you're worth that chance, I don't think I'm ever going to feel this way about someone again.

She's really thought this through.

Camila- You've really been thinking about this haven't you? 

Lauren- For the past hour none stop.

Camila- If I agree what do we do? 

This could work. Like hiding it. I've got 5 month's left at school, then bitch boom I'm done. Like 5 months isn't long if you really think about it.

Lauren- I think we should meet up and talk about it?

This is insane. Like actually something else. I can't process it all. Like she's worked so hard to become a teacher, like becoming a teacher isn't an easy thing, I've looked into it a few times out of interest. Years of hard work and a lot of money has gone into this, yet she's willing to risk it all on me? A student. Someone she actually knows very little about. I have such strong feelings for Lauren, yet I barely know her. I just want to know what is it about her that makes me want more, is it the fact she seemed so unattainable, or cause she's a literal goddess, cause she's my teacher which is incredibly hot. 

What I do know? I want her.

A/N SO IM TRYNA KEEP UP W THIS BUT IM LAZY. SORRY MY LOVES XOXOXOXOXOXXO KEEP VOTING!❤️❤️