Miss, Miss I Can't Do This. (Camren)

17

Camila- I mean, I guess so. Somewhere no one we know will see us though.

Lauren- How about the pub? I mean we've met up there twice now. It's a well-hidden gem.

Camila- That sounds good to me.

Lauren- Tomorrow afternoon ok for you?

I have nothing planned for tomorrow, but do I want to do it early and get it over with or have a nervous as fuck wait until I finally go meet her?

Camila- Any way we could do it in the morning? Say 10-ish?

Lauren- Yea, that's fine! 

It's now 5pm, I'm shattered and completely shitting myself for tomorrow with Lauren. 

My mum shouts me downstairs for tea and I quietly eat it all. 

"You ok?" My mother addresses me.

"Yes, I'm fine" I say giving her a smile.

"Good, school on Monday then?" She asks.

"Yes, I kept up with all my work too. I'm not behind." 

"That's my girl" My father say's kissing my head as he walks towards the sink.

I climb back into bed, my head filled with what will happen tomorrow, how it will go. This is all good in theory, but what if tomorrow we decide, actually this isn't possible to pull off.

I lay on my bed scrolling aimlessly through Instagram, somehow being sucked into slime videos.

My door slowly opens and I immediately look at it, to see Sofi's cute little face looking back at me. I love my sister.

"Can we watch some pretty little liars?" She asks with a smile.

"Of course, but I'll put it on the tv using my PS4" I say quickly turning it on and going on the Netflix app.

She quickly climbs into bed with me, content on watching the show. Telling me theory's, and little spoiler's she's seen on the internet.

"Camila" She starts.

"Yes?"

"How did you know you liked girls?" She asked, now focusing her attention onto me, away from the screen on which Emily and Maya have just kissed on.

"Honestly, I just looked at them in the same way I saw other girls looking at boys. Like I didn't pay any attention to boys, when the other girls where playing kiss chase with the boys, I was trying to dig to the centre of the Earth so I could touch lava" I say, to which Sofi laughs. "I just knew I was interested in them; I mean everyone is so pretty now, especially girls. All the new actresses. Don't get me wrong boys are hot, but I can do without them" I finish.

Sofi seems to be processing the information for a while before she goes "Ok" And turns back to the TV.

"How come?" I ask gaining her attention again.

"I was just wondering. Like I see the feelings that Emily has for Alison and it just made me curious. Plus, like I've had crushes on girls too, but I much rather prefer a cute boy" She added, I love how Sofi is so confident and sure of herself.

"Ok, you know if you're never not sure about anything, or need someone to talk to or ask about anything I'm here. And even if you feel you can't come to me, just know Dinah's big head isn't far away" I say quickly rubbing her head.

"I know, thank you" She say's giving me a side hug. 

"One last question though" Sofi starts. "How did you tell mum and dad?"

"I think mum always knew, I was a year older than you, and at every family party it was 'who's the lucky boy' 'have you got a boyfriend' 'bet you've got all the boys lined up', and I was sick of it. So, the next family event, I think it was a cousin Celia's 16th birthday party, Aunty asked me 'who's the lucky boy' and my first response was 'why do you assume it's a boy'. Mum was standing next to her and she gave me a grin. That's the last time anyone asked me any of those questions" I said laughing a little. "On the ride home mum brought up what I had said, and she asked me what exactly did I mean by that, so I told her that I don't feel attracted to boys in the same way I am girls and I asked her if that was ok too which she just turned around and placed her hand on my thigh and gave it a small squeeze and smiled at me. Dad stayed quiet for the ride home. I was shitting bricks. Once we arrived home dad asked me to stay in the car. So, I got into the passenger seat and he turned to me, told me he'd love me no matter who I loved, and that if anyone hurts me no matter what gender he will make their life hell" 

"They're so cool, like imagine if they were like Emily's mum" Sofi said.

"Emily's mum does exist out there, lots of parents don't support anything to do it LGBTQ+ rights. But people are more understanding now than ever before" I say smiling.

"Wait, why wasn't I in this car ride home?" Sofi asked looking concerned.

"I think you stayed the night at Celia's with cousin Marcia"

"Oh yea, I remember because Aunty got annoyed cause we broke a vase and hid it instead of telling anyone. Took her a year to realise it was missing though." Sofi finished the last part with a huff making me chuckle at her.

We both turn back to the TV focusing on the story lines. It scares me how someone can grow a human, care for them, love them endlessly and then when the times come's that, that person wants to be their true self they can just turn them away in a heartbeat. Like it was nothing. Like being that child's mother or father, seeing them grow and become their own person meant nothing.

Me and Sofi lay in bed for hours, and before I know it, I'm asleep. I wake up case I feel one side of the bed shift, I open my eyes and see Sofi climbing out of bed. I look at my phone and see the time is 8:30am. "Why you up?" I ask Sofi who was about to open the bedroom door.

"Big soccer tournament. All day thing. Starts in an hour" She says quickly leaving my room.

A/N kinda a filler chapter? also a bit of background -on holiday rn so a quick lil update