Paparazzi Girl

25. Drowned

Stella couldn't sleep.

She kept tossing and turning. Even her own bed was more uncomfortable than the hotel she had stayed at in New York. Her mind kept nibbling at her conscious. No matter how long and hard she tried to reassure herself, she then later remembered what was at stake.

Losing Xavier.

She was more than afraid. She was horrified, petrified, lone-some. Tomorrow was the due date for everything. A new issue was coming out next week that Mr. Robins wanted to get on top of.  Tomorrow was the day she had to turn in everything she had kept. Everything she had found out about Xavier.

Fuck. I can't do this. Don't make me do this, God, please. Don't hurt Xavier like this.

She breathed in deeply, sighing out a huff, trying to force her eyes closed, but she would just end up staring in darkness. She thought about the past, the present, and the dire future.

Maybe he won't know it's coming from me. It's nothing so personal that others couldn't know.

What would she do? She wouldn't be able to find the heart to become a paparazzi for anyone else. It wouldn't be the same without Xavier. Everything would be so different. Different wasn't fun. Different didn't involve Xavier.

As she turned the other direction, her leg hurt. It wasn't really noticeable, and she couldn't feel it as she did before, but it was surely still there. Xavier and his stupid Lunatic Stunt. Only he would dare do that with his friends.

A few minutes passed, her eyes still wide awake. She kept staring at the clock, which was now telling her it was about to be one in the morning. If she could turn back time, she would.

She stood up, uncovering herself from her sheets, not being able to lie any longer. If she did, she would go insane. She snuck out of her room, because her mom still wasn't aware she was there, and if she did, she would have no place to sleep. Especially with what would happen with Xavier.

She knew what he would do. He would leave. He wouldn't be able to stand her. He'd run away from her as if she were a flame trying to burn him, and that's what she was doing.

She was burning him.

She hadn't found out anything huge, but some were quite interesting. Something that would sell, like Mr. Robins pleased. She made her way into her dad's work room, closing the door so quietly, not even a creek was heard.

She looked around at the picture-decorated room. Every single part of the walls were immersed with photographs that even the wall color wasn't visible anymore, most of them from the celebrities he had followed before. Even more were on the table, untouched since he had died. And untouched they would remain.

A lump grew in her mouth, but she ignored it, looking at how his work had stayed so... unfinished. Her dad hadn't gotten the chance to follow his favorite celebrity - Cory Zee. He was a famous singer, who's music spoke to the soul. But Stella couldn't listen to his music after her dad died. It didn't feel right without him there to enjoy the beats, the rhythm, the flow of the music.

A computer laid on the table as well, pictures over that even. Nobody had seen if it still worked, and nobody would ever. The room was quite, but when a knock hit the door, her feet jumped.

Who could that be?

She climbed down, quietly, but at a fast pace. Her mom was still upstairs asleep, or so she thought so. She hadn't had the courage to look inside and see her mother.

She slid the door open, finding herself face to face with handsome Xavier. Why was he here? And at one in the morning.

"Uh, do you need something?" she whispered.