I Was Joking

What You Gonna Do When The Chips Are Down?

"Peter!!", May called frantically, not wanting to touch the soaking wet spider in a cup any more than she already had to. Her teenaged nephew raced towards her room, visibly relaxing when he saw that she wasn't in any danger. "Yes?", he asked before noticing the arachnid on the other side of the room from her.

"It seems I've caught a bit of a Peeping Tom in my shower.", May remarked. She would've handled it herself if it wasn't for her crippling arachnophobia. (When she initially found out about Peter being Spider-Man, one of the many thoughts that went through her head that day was 'Of all the gimmicks he could've done for a superhero, why did it have to be SPIDERS?') But she was getting better. Slowly.

Peter took the paper and glass, apologizing profusely. "Sorry, I didn't realize he had gotten into the apartment in the first place, nor that he was out of my eyesight, I'll put him up. I'm—" "It's fine, Peter.", she assured, waving it off casually. "Yeah?", the teen questioned, tone uncertain. "Yeah.", the woman responded with a smile.

Peter nodded slightly, taking the animal and leaving the room. May took a sigh of relief before finishing getting ready for work. She, unfortunately, had another all-nighter shift tonight, making it the third this week. It was exhausting, to say the least, but it was something, which is better than nothing. May Parker is an independent woman; she can and will take care of herself.

Grabbing her purse and keys, May called out, "Alright, I'm heading out. Dinner is whatever you can find in the fridge, please be safe tonight, and I expect you at home, asleep in bed with homework done by midnight. I don't want to be woken up tomorrow morning by another phone call from your teacher about you falling asleep in class." After a moment, she finished, "Love you!!" "Love you too, Aunt May!", Peter responded from his room. Probably suiting up, if she had to guess.

She walked out the door, shutting and locking it behind her before heading to her car.

As expected, the hospital was bustling with activity once she got there. She had barely gotten logged into the computer before her medicine routine had started. And so, the shift began for May Parker.

Once checking off her more critical and routine patients, May had started making her way to the pediatric branch of the hospital. Of all the places in the hospital, this was both her favorite and least favorite. She didn't enjoy the fact that these children were injured, but they were always so sweet when she checked up on them.

"Hey, Ms. Aunt May.", a little girl who had broken her wrist greeted sleepily while the woman replaced her painkillers. The younger patients and fresh-out-of-school nurses had taken to calling her that; not like the woman minded. It made the children more comfortable around her, and she admittedly kinda had a habit of taking people under her wing. "Hey, sweetheart. I'm just replacing your bag and then you can go back to sleep, mmkay?", Ms. Parker explained in a sweet tone. The girl nodded, eyes drifting back shut once May finished.

The wonderful thing about the night shift is that after a while most patients are asleep. Which gives her the opportunity to take a bit of a break. She stopped by a desk to file her reports before one of her co-workers, an older woman who worked as the unofficial mentor for all of the nurses. Including May Parker, once upon a time.

"Hey, Mrs. Gray.", May greeted casually, still furiously typing. "Ms. Parker.", Amber responded with a little bit of sass, taking the computer next to her. "How are things with you and your husband?", Parker asked, flipping through her organized papers. "Getting better, I guess. We've gotten better at trying to spend time together. It's like I spend half a year here, y'know?", she gestured, chuckling. "What about you? How are your boys?" May shook her head and smiled.

"Always keeping me on my toes. Last week, after dinner, Harold and I went to this place, right? It was like a bakery, except they had the craziest looking cakes I've ever seen. I could barely pronounce my order. We had gotten our slices when I spotted a Spider-Man decorated cake. So naturally, I bought one for Peter, since he's the biggest fan I've ever seen. And this eighteen-year-old squealed like Piglet was on helium.", she recalled with a faint smile. "I still can't believe he's graduating this year."

"I know. Seems like yesterday you had just gotten hired and was showing off pictures of the little tike to anyone who asked.", the older woman described with a laugh. "Bold of you to assume I've stopped.", May remarked, submitting the finished updates. She got up, noticing the empty styrofoam cup. "Want a top off, since I'm not busy?" "May Parker, ever the godsend.", Amber remarked, giving the cup to her. May smiled, about to walk off before she was stopped.

"Hey, uh, Mr. Tucker wanted to speak to you, before your shift was over.", Gray called out with the same amount of disgust May was feeling. Neither of them really liked their managing nurse very much; he tended to have favorites, who were determined by two things: how pretty they were, and how much were they willing to kiss up to him. Anyone who didn't meet those requirements was kept under very close watch. And while Tucker tried, May had made her position very clear. Which put her under the watchlist.

This couldn't be good.

May nodded curtly, filling up Amber's cup and returning it before slowly and reluctantly heading towards his office. The balding man smiled in a sinister way when she opened the door. "You wanted to see me?", the woman asked, trying to hide her impatience. "Ah, yes. Please, have a seat.", he guided towards a chair. She did so, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"It's my understanding that you've been here for many years, correct?", he asked. May nodded. "Well, then I'm sure you've noticed some of the changes that have been brought. We've bought some Hammer Medical robotics that has handled many of the tedious tasks from before, with stellar accuracy." May kept her gaze on her hands. She'd hardly noticed, although now that he mentioned it, her schedule was lighter than before.

"Unfortunately, that means that we've had fewer tasks for the nurses. So to cover the costs of these machines, and their constant updates, we've had to start laying off some people." Parker's breath hitched. "You don't mean..." "I'm sorry, May.", he responded, pretending to look sorrowful. She would've rolled her eyes if she wasn't in shock. "You can finish your shift, and we'll pay you for the rest of the week. Unless, of course, you could give me some...reasons as to why you're valuable, so I may be able to convince the board to let someone else go instead.", Tucker excused.

May shook her head. She knew what he meant by reason, and it wasn't going to work. He smacked his lips, before calling behind her, "I'll miss you."

She slammed the door behind her.

May spent the morning hours of her shift giving everyone their morning medicine and breakfast ("Good mornin', Ms. Aunt May ma'am. Why're you sad?", one of the children asked before his parents had arrived to visit.), hugged all of her nurse friends goodbye ("Now you don't have an excuse to go out with us.", Amber had said with a humorless laugh. May had hugged her own mentor especially tight.), and gave her report to the day nurse who took over one final time. With confidence, she strode her way to her car, shutting the door behind her before breaking down.

She didn't have a job. So what happens now?

Her mind immediately went to Peter. She had a guess as to how the teen would react. He would probably freak out, going into another spiral like when he did with Ben. The teen would try to find a job, adding another activity to his list. He didn't need that stress. Barely got enough sleep as is.

May drove back to the apartment, hugging Peter, who had just left on his way to school. Now as mentally exhausted as she was physical, the woman slowly stepped toward her room before collapsing onto her bed. She dreamt of a kindergarten classroom, where all the students were little Peters, about the same age as when she and Ben had received custody. She had wanted to be a teacher; it was a childhood dream of hers. At the time, it was her way of making the world a better place.

When she woke up, not surprised to find it the middle of the afternoon, the first thing she did was call Harold. "May?", he asked, his voice confused. "Surprised you're up. Everything ok?" She sighed, looking around her room. Thoughts settled, May finally asked,

"How would you feel if I went back to school?"

*Story headcanon that's kind of a spoiler but I don't care because d'aww: May is Morgan's Kindergarten teacher, mostly because of the fact Tony and Pepper trust May more than anyone else to shape their daughter's mind and hey, if given the opportunity, why not use it?

Also, all of her kids call her 'Aunt May' because she's one of those cool teachers.*