CRUSH ✓ tysh

conversation eight: i promise

saint motel - sweet talk
this doesnt fit the chapter but i think it does a lil for the fic so u can listen if youd like :-)
(ps i got the opportunity to see this live with panic 2 yrs ago ok bye)

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JD
hey i have an idea
u wanna practice talking to me on facetime

tyler
:) that would be lovely joshua
i already have your number... would you like me to call you first?

JD
um
no? give me your number too..?

tyler
sorry- xxxxxxxxxx

Two minutes later, an incoming call from Josh. Tyler taps accept the instant he sees the call. Despite his eagerness, he is still anxious.

"How'd you even get my number?" Josh laughs, sounds nervous, it's the laugh he has only heard when he's talking to Tyler, no one else. It makes him feel special.

A stuttering breath and shaky sigh- this is much easier than face-to-face. "It's easy. I've heard you giving your number out to someone, so I saved it."

"Jeez... wow, you're so blunt. I mean, like, I don't know how to explain this to you, but things like that aren't- it's not- not okay...? Do you understand that?" Josh asks, high pitched whisper at the end of his sentence.

"But you're not upset with me, right?" Tyler knows it isn't the best idea, but it's not like he's done something incredibly wrong. He's done nothing wrong.

Josh's face drops. He's clearly disappointed. "That's not the point, Ty. I'm kinda upset, sure, but you can't just- you can't listen in on my conversations or like, I don't know what the hell you do but if you follow me that's like the worst thing you can do, okay?" he says, looking away.

Tyler can't look away, glued to his phone screen, heart beating faster and faster. Josh is upset with him and he can't deal with it. "I don't. I don't do that, Joshua. I would never unless I thought you were in trouble." he shakes his head, fingers now curled around a couple strands of hair, curling curling and pulling. "Joshua, I'm sorry. I don't do that. I promise you. I promise."

"Why are you so sorry then?" Josh sighs.

"I don't want to upset you. I would never lie to you."

Truthfully, their conversations are always unexciting and dull. It's always one-sided, Tyler being the one to proclaim his love because it's too much to handle, Josh thinking he's a creep because... because it's true, even he can see that, but it hurts.

Why did Josh call him to talk about this anyway?

Still, it is better that Josh doesn't hate him or think badly of him. Being in his life is enough for now, but later on he'd like the chance to be his life.

"... Joshua? Are we still going on a date?" he shakily asks. He's terrified to ask, but he has to know.

Josh looks like he's thinking about it, doesn't respond for a good minute but eventually looks back to his phone. "Yeah, um, sure. Saturday at 7." he chuckles.

Tyler smiles and pulls a little too hard on his hair. He can't wait. Four days.