Piece it back together [ON HIATUS]

Chapter 4: Seeing ghosts

Peridot POV

I had stayed awake the entire night, trying desperately to bring the hallucination back. But, the task proved fruitless. It wouldn't come back.

I resigned myself to drawing for the rest of the night, trying desperately to forget about the nightmare I had. But, it never worked.

It usually never works.

Eventually, I put away the art supplies and got up to stretch slightly. I winced as my hand shot pain through my body, quickly putting a stop to stretching.

"Anything I do to distract myself always leads me back to the same outcome: more pain." I muttered as I looked around the loft.

My eyes fell on the other two items Steven had given me: the extra clothing and the book he gifted me.

I appreciated the gesture, but really didn't have any use for the items. My adamant refusal to wear another star again must not have been communicated clearly to Steven, and I really did not enjoy any earth literature.

I sighed as I made my way down from the loft, making my way towards the barn door.

I rested my hand on it as I took in a shaky breath. How long has it been since I took a step outside? Long enough for me to actually fear opening the door.

"I just... I can't do this. It's all too hard. The nightmares, the hallucinations... I don't know if I can keep going." I muttered to myself.

Maybe... Maybe I should just...

No. I can't even humor those thoughts. To do so would be a dangerous game to play.

A very dangerous game.

I felt so empty, so distraught. Like always.

But then, I felt something new.

I felt anger.

"I just... What did I do to deserve this? What did SHE do?! To deserve the suffering and pain she got in the end?!  She mended her ways, tried so hard to redeem herself. SHE DID REDEEM HERSELF, WE BOTH DID!! AND NOW SHE'S SHATTERED!" I screamed, slamming my unwounded hand into the door.

The amount of rage bubbling up inside me was intense. It felt like I wanted... no, NEEDED to tear something apart, to break everything down around me.

I need a distraction, a real distraction. Something for me to take all this despair and anger out on.

I need to go back to the Kindergarten.

I needed a way to express this need to destroy.

I shove open the doors with both my shoulder and unharmed hand and stomped off toward the Warp Pad, the sun not even up.

I concentrated hard, and I was off.

--WARP--

I stepped off the pad and walked into the desolate place, my injured hand held closer to my chest as to make sure that the wounds were not aggravated more.

All I needed to find was that gem-forsaken lab. Something I could take my anger of this situation out.

I stomped through the desolate canyons, passing by both the Homeworld made holes and the... Artificially made ones.

I could feel the mineral laden winds stinging at the hand wound, but I kept trudging on, looking around for the oh so familiar and hated hole in the ground. Yet, when I finally got to it, I realized a problem.

I had no way to get down safely.

"Never mind, I can just use my powers..." I grumbled as I held out my free hand, slightly clenched in concentration, to pull a piece of any sort of metal from the lab to use.