X ~ Lashton Hemwin Oneshots✔️

2: I'm a Mess

Summary: Luke promised Ashton that he'd never cheat on him but sometimes, promises get broken.
(I understand that this isn't what the song is about but I can't interpret it to save my life, so I'm going with this.)

________

Ashton felt himself completely shatter when he heard the words that left his lovers lips, like his lungs were slowly shutting down on him, leaving him to barely be able to catch his breath. His heart pounded against his chest as though his rib cage was going to break into a billion piece with the pressure pushed on them.

"Y-You what?" The curly haired boy finally squeaked out, hoping that he had in fact misheard what the other was trying to say, but yet deep down he knew the truth whether he wanted to face it or not.

"I-I... It was an accident, Ash, I didn't mean to. I was still upset after our fight last night and I got drunk. I didn't mean to sleep with him, it just happened," The blond rambled, feeling utterly terrible after what he had done.

Luke swore to not only to his boyfriend but also to himself that he would never cheat on him no matter what. He honestly didn't intend to find someone else that night, but his brain was already intoxicated by all of the alcohol that he had consumed and he couldn't help himself. The way that the other man took care of him just made him feel so good.

"Who was it?" The older of the two asked, tears brimming at his bottom lids, though he tried his best not to cry in front of Luke, not wanting to give him satisfaction he thought the blond wanted.

"I don't know. It was just some random guy at the bar. When I woke up this morning, I came straight home, I-I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Ashton scoffed bitterly, "where have I heard that one before?"

And as much as Luke wanted to deny it, he knew that the older boy was right, he always fucked up in one way or another just to tell Ashton that he was sorry and make it up to him somehow.

"Sorry isn't going to fix anything this time!" He told Luke, wiping at his eyes which was practically useless considering that fresh tears only followed the pattern down his pink tinted cheeks.

Ashton couldn't tell what he was, he was upset, that's for sure. But at the same time he was angry, not only at Luke but also at himself for falling so hard for the blond, throwing all precautions out of the window and just diving in, only to come up with hurt and heartache.

"Did it mean anything to you?" The hazel eyed boy asked, even though he already knew the answer.

You see, Luke had always been this way, well, before he met Ashton anyway. He was the womanizer and jock back in highschool and the two met during a footie game. The lanky boy was pretty much always surrounded by not only girls but boys as well, just begging for some attention from him... Except Ashton. Which is why he became Luke's next target, but he never meant to fall in love with him the way he did.

Luke had in fact cheated on the honey haired boy only after a week of their dating when Ashton told him that he wanted to wait on sęx, but they moved past that, Luke made it up to him, and that was nearly two years ago.

"No, it didn't, I promise. It was a stupid mistake," He replied, running his fingers through his blond quiff in frustration, "you have to believe me."

"I do," Ashton started, raising a hand to show that he wasn't finished when Luke looked up at him, hope in his crystal blue eyes, "but that doesn't mean I forgive you."

"What do I have to do, Ash? I'll do anything for you, anything to make it up to you. Please," Luke pleaded, grabbing Ashton's outstretched hand with both of his own in attempts to stop the others shaking.

"I don't think you can," Ashton stated after while, pulling his arm away and turning his back toward the taller man.

"Please," He tried again, taking a step closer to the heartbroken boy. 

Ashton just shook his head, sniffling as he shuffled over to their shared bedroom, "You should go."

"Where am I supposed to go? I have nowhere else to stay."

"Go to Calum's, or better yet, find that slüt you were whøring around with!" Ashton finally yelled, trying his best not to let a sob escape him, but he failed, and that only made Luke feel even more guilty.

"Please, I'm so--"

"Go." Ashton said firmly, turning away from the younger man.

And so that's what he did, knowing that he had to give Ashton some time before he could even try to talk with the smaller man

.

"So you hooked up with a stranger again?"

"Don't say it like it's an everyday thing, Calum, it was an accident!" Luke says, shaking his head in exasperation, "I didn't mean to..."

"I know you didn't, and I'm sure that Ashton knows that too but he's probably gonna be pissed for a little while," He explained, patting the taller mans back in attempts to comfort him.

 Luke plopped himself on Calum's couch, burying his face in his hands, "what am I gonna do?"

.

Weeks went by in a blur for most people, but for Luke and Ashton they were agonizingly slow. Every morning one would wake up to find that the other was missing before bursting into yet another set of tears. Ashton wasn't sure if he should ever forgive the blond for what he did, he didn't want to, no, he knew that what Luke did was wrong, so so wrong, but yet, he couldn't help but want him there with him.

Every day at seven in the morning, Luke would get into his car and drive to his and Ashton's place, leave a note with a single rose on top of it on his doorstep, and leave right before Ashton woke up. He knew that the boy always woke up at seven-thirty and he needed enough time to get there and back before he even knew that Luke was there. Every ounce of the man wanted to stand and wait, at least just see Ashton before he left but he knew that the curly haired boy was still angry at him and he didn't want to make it even worse.

It wasn't until the forty-second day that Luke ended up not being fast enough. It was raining that morning and he was struggling to keep the letter underneath his jacket so it wouldn't get wet when the door swung open revealing a sleepy looking Ashton, dressed in a pair of his boxers and one of Luke's oversized tee.

Luke's breath hitched when he saw him, eyes trailing up and down his body before finally locking onto Ashton's hazel ones. He took a step back, the white envelope falling from his grasp and on top of his porch.

The blond turned to leave, completely sure that Ashton didn't want to see him but the older man let out a gasped, "wait!"

He then turned around slowly, tears slipping from his blue eyes as he looked at the man he truly loved with all of his heart. He wasn't sure what to do but when he saw Ashton lean down to pick up the letter, he decided just to wait. And frankly, he'd probably wait there at that spot in the rain for forever if that's what it took.

Ashton pulled the note from the small envelope, his eyes scanning the page as tears filled them up quickly, dropping to the parchment he was reading. No one else but the two men knew what the letter said but when Ashton finished reading it, he clutched the paper to his chest and let out a quiet whimper.

"I love you, too," the honey haired man finally said.

And that's when Luke took the final three strides to Ashton, placing his hand on his cheek and kissing him softly. Ashton didn't even care that he was dripped wet, no, he was just happy to have the other back with him once again.

"I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry," Luke cried, his whole body shaking and his eyes full of regret.

"I know," was all the other man said back, but a small smile made it's way to his face. 

"And I missed you, and I love you, and I'm sorry, and trust me, I will never ever do it again, I promise. You have to know that I'd never intentionally hurt you because the way I feel about you is something that I could ever be able to describe. I can't shake this feeling now. I love you so goddamn much," He continued, peppering the smaller boys face with kisses, something he knew always cheered Ashton up.

"Me too," Was all he replied with, pressing his lips to the other mans once again.

~fin