17 Crimes [discontinued **read desc]

I'm In Love, With Poisoning

Kenny opened his eyes slowly, unaware of where he was for a moment. He felt a solid force on his left side so, confused, he turned to see what it was. Oh. He wasn't expecting Cartman to still be here. He supposed he'd fallen asleep by accident and Eric the charmer let him, falling asleep as well. Kenny sat up and stared at Cartman for a bit, letting his peaceful face linger for a moment as this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to see Cartman so relaxed. Reluctantly, he shook him gently.
"Eric.. hey, Eric. Wake up" Kenny said softly. To his surprisec Cartman's eyes fluttered open. 'Light sleeper?' He wondered. Cartman rubbed at his eyes for a moment then stretched.
"What time is it?" Cartman asked him, still sleepy sounding. They both looked out the window above the desk at that point.
"Well, seeing as it's sunset, I'd say about... 6:30-ish?" Kenny was unsure of this, but couldn't find his phone anywhere to check. He cursed under his breath, and Cartman raised an eyebrow at him.
"Ugh, do you have your phone on you?" Kenny asked, clearly now both annoyed and tired.
"Nope. Left it in my bag in my room. I tell you man, these other kids here will snatch that new shit up so fast you wont even realize it.." Eric explained. Kenny supposed that was true, since so many phones had already gone missing and it was still early in the school year. They laughed together for a few minutes, then Kenny stretched himself.
"Well, it's late so we should pick out something in the dining area. There should still be a few things left at least.. hopefully." Kenny honestly doubted there would be, but he was hungry and willing to check anyways.
So with that, they put their shoes on and headed downwards. Walking down the long corridors with Eric made Kenny feel self-conscious about their height difference. Kenny was merely 5'8 while Eric had grown to be 6'0 even. It seemed Kenny was the shortest amongst his friends while just being below Kyle  by an inch. Kenny had zoned out so far that he didn't notice Clyde in time and had run into him. Cartman had paused at this and had started laughing at them, calling them idiots and such. Kenny stumbled, still dazed from his afternoon nap with Cartman, while Clyde kind of staggered. Clyde was built like a wall to be reckoned with, so it was no wonder he was still standing while Kenny struggled with his balance.
"Hell, sorry Clyde.. Kinda zoned out a bit." Kenny added a slightly awkward laugh at the end. Clyde, unamused, glared at him. 'What's his deal?'
"Where the fuck is Craig?" Clyde held his stance, even had the audacity to cross his arms.
"How the hell should I know? I'm not his babysitter. Fuck off with the attitude, I'm really not in the mood." Kenny shot back. Cartman stood to the side, leaned against the wall, and let Kenny deal with it for now. He'd step in if need be.
"Well, you were the last to see him" Clyde sounded an awful lot like a jealous girlfriend, which made Kenny suspicious, but his agitation shook it off.
"Well no actually, I wasn't. Since you followed me, when I deliberately fucking told you not to.  Don't even start with me, Clyde." Kenny raised his voice near the end, getting his point across more dramatically than needed. Did he care? No. Would he regret yelling at Clyde later? Probably, yeah.
Clyde sputtered, trying and miserably failing to form his word vomit into a coherent sentence, instead of sounding like a blubbering idiot. Finally, Clyde backed down with a huff and stomped away like a child who wasn't getting their way. Kenny sighed heavily which turned into a groan. He collapsed to his knees and started to rub and scratch at the back of his neck. Cartman pushed himself off the wall and kneeled down next to him, rubbing his back and congratulating him for winning against Clyde, the final boss in this game of life. That made Kenny laugh, so he flopped his arms down and gave into the wonderous feeling of being comforted. He looked up at Eric with a disgruntled look, who in turn raised his eyebrow as if to ask what.
"When does the game of life end, and can it be today?" Cartman laughed at this shaking his head.
"After you run out of lives, which might be a while for you." Kenny huffed at this and looked away, crossing his arms.
"I thought I told you guys to not bring it up anymore? It's great you guys finally realize my deathly dilemma, but right now is not a good time." Eric raised his arms in a guilty way, grinning all the while.
"Hey, you asked I answered" His face-splitting grin growing ever so wider seeing Kenny try to stand up quickly and walk away, stumbling on his wobbly legs. Cartman laughed at this, thinking it was cute of him to try and walk away from the matter. Nevertheless, they continued on their way to the dining hall.
Finally reaching the food area, Kenny and Cartman were relieved to see there was still some things ripe for the picking. They grabbed a few things, and took off before they were caught. Running to Eric's dorm was thrilling, a sense of adrenaline coarsing through him at the thought of getting caught with basically theft as the food area allowed only a certain amount of items to be taken. Coming to screeching halt, they darted through Cartman's dorm. Panting, Kenny leaned his head forward, while Eric leaned his head back on the door. They looked at each other and started laughing like mad men. Unbeknowest to them, there was another there with them.
"You two look like you're having fun." They both paused and looked at the center desk, seeing a swirly chair faced towards it with said figure sitting in it. Turning the chair around, Kenny saw a face he hadn't seen in years..
"Butters?!" Kenny both exclaimed and kind of asked at the same time, sounding just a bit too excited.
"In the flesh." Butters smiled. Kenny rushed forward, dropping some of the packaged food they'd taken. Butters stood up, nearly falling back down into the chair as Kenny jumped on him. Hugging Kenny and holding him by his lower back, Butters chuckled.
"It's been forever, why are you here? I thought you were studying abroad??" Kenny looked at him, having been set down by his long-time friend. Eric had picked up the food they'd dropped and threw it onto his bed, sitting down on it. He was kind of shocked as well the see him.
"I did for a bit, China was crazy, but I missed all of you guys terribly so, I decided to move back out here." Butters' heart was racing due to all the excitement. He noticed the food on Eric's bed and his eyes widened.
"Did you guys take all that? Isn't it against the rules to take so much?" Butters asked, concerned.
"We were hungry." Kenny and Cartman said in unison.
Catching up with Butters was Kenny's new favorite pastime, despite this being the first time. They caught Butters up to speed on what he'd missed in these years he'd been gone. Turns out, Butters had "failed" one of his abroad classes, and was let go from the program. He'd only gotten a C, but it was basically a failing grade. They'd eaten a good quarter of the food and had gotten some crumbs on Eric's bed, but he could care less at the point in time. Being with Kenny helped Eric be more accepting and layed back about a lot of things he used to stress and whine about.  Yet, neither Kenny nor the others had noticed how much time had passed, so when Eric fished out his phone from his bag and told Kenny the time, they'd reluctantly said their goodbyes. Kenny grabbed a couple snacks and went on his way back to his dorm, waving at Eric and Butters.
Kenny sighed, feeling bored and kind of lonely now even after just leaving. Around Eric was never a dull moment for him, and he only hoped he didn't chase away Butters with how annoying it could get sometimes. Eric was cautious though, so he felt Butters was in safe hands... for now. He chuckled to himself and walked a bit faster down the corridor. Curfew was at 11, so it being 10:20, Kenny didn't want to chance getting another warning or a detention this time. He looked behind him, a paranoid habbit he'd had since childhood, and turned down his hall. He tried the handle on the door to notice it was locked, so he fished out his keys from his pant pocket and unlocked it. Opening the door, he noticed it was also dark, so he went to flick on the lights, only to have his shirt be roughly grabbed and pulled, throwing him to the floor.
_____________________

Here we realize how close friends Cartman and Kenny had become, and a new challenger appears! How will Kenny find his way out of this new mess he'd been thrown into.

A/N: Henlo, haven't updated in a hot minute so here's the next chapter. Did you like my little pun there? No? Ahah, yeah it was bad. I wonder who would be so rough with our poor little McCormick? Also yes, Kenny dies many times in this universe as well, but as he's gotten older, they've become less frequent, yet increasingly violent.. His friends remembering his deaths? Yeah, a traumatic experience for them all with many tears and lots of apologies.