Don't Fall In Love: REDDIE (COMPLETED ✔️)

Chapter Twenty One

"Mind if I get your number, maybe we could get coffee sometime?" He asked, hopefully.

"Sure." We swapped phones and traded numbers.

Getting mine back I saw his name. "It was nice meeting you Davis."

"You too, Eddie."

Eddie

After the encounter with him, I just kept wandering around. I walked through blocks and blocks of giant buildings towering over me. I thought back to what happened earlier. What if Richie does something bad?

He hurt you.

What is he's in trouble?

Stop caring.

What if he needs help?

He doesn't, he's the one that did his to you. He's why your walking alone in the rain.

What if he actually isn't gay?

Now you're talking!

I need to find out.

No don't!

Fuck it.

I broke out in full on sprint all the way back to my place. I'm coming Richie.

Richie  (TW: self harm)

I locked the door to the bathroom and sat on the floor. I grabbed the blade and looked at it. I slit my left hand pointer finger.

I thought about the guitar I just bought.

Should I?

I was going to learn how to play.

Should I not? I ran the blade down the inside of my middle finger.

I want to write a song for Eddie.

Should I? I watched the blood pour out as I did the same to my left ring finger.

I was going to tell him I'm bipolar.

Should I not? I slit my left pinky.

I want to him play him the song I wrote.

I kept doing this to all ten fingers until I landed on should I?

Yes.

You are so horrible to the one person who actually makes you happy. How could you say such hurtful words to him? 

You're replaceable.

Oh Eddie...

You're horrible.

This was never supposed to happen...

You're useless.

I have a song for you, Eds.

You're worthless.

Wanna hear?

You're.

I wrote it the day Bill first introduced you to the group.

Always.

I put it with a tune I think you may like.

Gonna.

You are so pretty Eds.

Be.

Everything about you is so beautiful.

Second.

I'm so so sorry love.

Choice.

I put the blade into my wrist and felt the sting. I dragged it all the way down to my elbow. I watched the blood coat my entire arm. I felt tears fill my eyes and my ears were ringing.

You're indespicable.

You're ugly.

You're freckles make you look stupid.

Tame those dumb curls for once.

I felt huge tears run down my face as I began to close my eyes. I heard pattering of feet running down the hall and heard someone banging on the door.

I froze up.

"Chee?" I heard Eddie say just above a whisper.

I heard him knock on the door. I wanted to run over and pull open the door and embrace him. I wanted to see his huge brown eyes look up at me.

But I'm too weak.

I felt Brinda tug at my shirt with her teeth. I pushed her away. I hissed in pain and quickly pulled my hand to my chest, forgetting about what I had just done. Brands looked at me and slowly sunk to the floor before laying her head on my lap. I looked away.

You're useless.

"Rich, open up please. I wanna see you..." I could hear Eddie lay his head against the door.

"Its- I'm not- you'll be disappointed." I said quietly.

"And why would I be disappointed?" Eddie asked, just above a whisper.

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. My throat closed up. 

You're a disappointment.

I know.

IF YOU SKIPPED READING THE PART, YOU CAN READ AGAIN !! ITS OVER

Then I heard him ask over and over if I'm okay.

No answer.

"If you don't let me in I will break this door down and come see you myself." He said.

I took in a sharp breath and hissed in pain. The dizziness was causing a huge headache.

Brinda started whining and I glanced at her then closed my eyes again. Please. Please come in Eddie. Please come in and hug me. Tell me it's gonna be okay. 

Please. I just want your arms wrapped around me. I want you to kiss my cheek and give me that cute little glare you do every time I do something dumb. I want you hold my face and tell me it's not the end of the world.

Then I heard the door creak open and Eddie stuck his head in.

My eyes fluttered open and landed right on him. I tried to smile but everything hurt. My heart, my body, my self esteem.

My Ed's. He's here.

He ran over to me and started panicking.

But I didn't hear any of  what he said. I  saw his mouth moving and he looked upset but I didn't hear anything.

Everything was ringing and shaking.

I was drifting in and out of consciousness. He pulled me into his lap and held me right. Just like I wanted. The edges of my my mouth turned upwards and I felt at home.

I looked up at Eddie and he was so upset. I held him tighter to show I was here.

Last thing I saw was him crying, screaming at me not to leave.

Oh, my beautiful Eds.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•