Spiders & Unrequited Love

Sour Candies

Broad shoulders, and a Manbun
Tattoos trailing up your arms
Muscles twitching
Peeking out of rolled up sleeves.
You flash me a practiced smile.
But your eyes
Locked with mine
Speak of thirst.

Without a word
You know me.
A drink slides across the bar
Sweet and Tart,
A secret language
I'm just starting to uncover.

Hours pass,
You take me home
Hold me close.
Never assuming,
Never pushing,
Always patient,
Mostly silent.
Barely giving me an inch,
Of your story.

Words were never your strength
So I did most of the talking
You'd laugh.
You'd smile,
So rare in its genuine nature,
That it creases the skin of your face in ways
That tempt me to reach out
And caress your lips
For all the words you leave unspoken.

I could be patient.
I could.
All I asked was for confirmation
Three little words.
I could guess.
I could hope for.
But doubt left me wanting more.
Needing.
More.

It was one of those things where
When I was with you,
I felt like the center of your Universe.
Cherished,
Savored.
In fleeting moments that felt
Stolen,
I could stand the silence
Content in your presence.

But when I was not,
It was agony.
I was pulling teeth and hair,
and hanging onto one-worded texts.

It was in those days,
And weeks,
Even months,
Apart.
That my longing grew
Surprisingly unfazed
Because in my heart
I thought
I knew
How you felt
And yet
I feel crazy.

Hanging onto memories of smells,
Of Jasmine, Forest Moss, and Man
Onto the taste,
Of Spicy Wings, Blue Rasberry and
You.
When I close my eyes,
The feel of your arms around me
Stroking my face,
My thighs,
My soul.
I feel safe.

Everyday
I live my life
Of course.
For you don't complete me,
You have always felt
Like the cinnamon sprinkled
On my caramel latte.
A delicious bonus.

So much so,
That nestled within
Quiet moments like this,
I whisper your name
Praying that the wind
Carries it to you
And you call me over
To share one more bag
Of Sour Candy.