Beauty From Above (Emison)

Chapter 30:What just happened?

Alison

It has been days. I heard nothing from the news. I can't sleep,at school they would look at me because I look like a monster. These dark circles just can't help but showing. If I sleep,I'll dream about Emily. I don't want to. I don't want her to be in my life anymore. How can I get her out of me?
I have to forget about her. She's nothing to me. Not anymore. She's just a person that belongs in my past. Not my future. She's not someone I love anymore. She's a nobody.
I have to sleep. I have to sleep.
I can't be possibly miss her. I can't. I don't love her anymore. As long as Jenna's out there,I can't love her. Even if Jenna's dead,I still can't have her. No way.
"Ali. Ali wake up." I open my eyes and saw Spencer sitting on my bed on the left side. I sit up confused,what is she doing here?"Don't ask questions. Please." She warns first,but I already have millions of questions in my head."I have to tell you something. I'm sorry,I couldn't tell you this before and I'm sorry for acting weird lately and sorry sorry for being such a dummy-"
"Spencer." She looks at me and I nod once. This is giving me suspension. In the middle of the night,I have no idea how she got in here. She's Spencer,she's genius."Don't be mad at me,but I'm tired of you being mad at Emily forever." She says and I tilt my head to her,I'm already tired of that."And...I think I know why you guys...hate each other..." She seems kind of nervous to tell me.
"What?" I don't care if I'm asking but it's like there's something Emily told Spencer. I snort and roll my eyes away. "Oh now because I'm the one that break up to her she's spreading rumours now to you?" I say with a little tone and Spencer changes her face."Ali it's not because of that-"
"Just go back home Spencer. I don't wanna hear about this anymore-"
"No listen to me first-"
"About what?! She ruined everything! It's all her fault! She made me like this!"
"Not everything in the world's about you,Alison. She did it for you. You don't understand so let me tell you! Don't just tell lies about her and yourself!" I look at her of uncertainty,but she is right.
"God,I'm sick,and tired of seeing you like this. Of keeping this huge secret Emily told me to! Everyday when we mention about Emily to you,your face changes and it's like we had to pretend we didn't saw that. We all know you and Emily are broke and hate each other but Emily had a reason! She had to do it because she loves you but you don't get it!"
"Even if she did made me happy and all,she never knew what's really happening."
"You can't just expect people to know you're fine or not! You can't just depend on them! On Emily!" I had nothing to say but I just stare at her. In her eyes she's trying to tell me something but I keep pushing her out.
"It's not because of you she got to prison. She planned the whole thing. She perfectly planned everything just to make you safe. She knew you'd get in trouble. She didn't want to ruin your reputation. "
"She did that..?"
"Yes. She did it all. Even about Jenna. She had come up with this huge plan for a long time. It costed herself as the result in jail. She made a huge sacrifice,Ali. That time at the old cabin,you were shot. Emily had beaten Jenna but she kept Jenna alive for one thing. Jenna would lie that she didn't kill anyone and frame Emily. That's the goal for her. That's...if the plan works. To get herself in jail while her ex is out there freely. Jenna may be innocent,we just have to wait until the trial."
I don't know what's gotten up to me. I don't know what I've put myself into. I've lost control. I've lost my track. Emily done it all for me and I blamed her for not doing anything. Tears fall down my cheeks,a lot where it came. Hearing it made me feel more sad.
"She came to my house. She told me to get you to the hospital. You shouldn't thank me,you should thank Emily for bringing you home after a heavy rain,all bruised and beaten. Weak. You should appreciate that your past,still cares for your future." I look down,and have a moment of myself. I'm a disaster,miserable. What have I done? What have I said to her...it must've hurt her deeply. It's all my fault.
All my fault she's in jail. I hug Spencer tightly and cry even harder,making sigh-hiccups and sobs. Breathing hard and puffy eyes. Guilt showers on me and steps on me. I want to say sorry,and thank you to her. I want to see her. I can't believe everyday I cursed myself for ever being in a relationship with her. I can't believe I've thought of all that.
Its hard to breathe,it's hard to accept what I've done. I can't believe I realised this now.
I remembered what she said when I almost passed out...