A Beautiful Mess

24|| Carter

My eyes fluttered open as the sunlight beamed through the opening of the curtains at my window. I yawned as I stretched and looked beside me, expecting to see Elijah still sleeping.

I was surprised when instead of a person, I found a small note laying on the pillow beside me. I slowly read his hand writing, which was rather beautiful by the way.

Good morning princess, I had to rush off to tend to an emergency. I promise that I'll be back later.

- Eli

I smiled looking at the note. I had to just accept the fact that Elijah wasn't planning on going anywhere. No matter what I said or tried to do, he just kept coming back and as much as I hate to admit, he was starting to make me feel things I swore that I would never feel again. I shook the feeling off however and rolled out of bed.

•••

Today, I decided to call in sick from work. I called and my line Manager told me to take the week off but she informed me however that in that she would be sending me some publisher manuscripts to review for her. I definitely had no problem with that.

I was still feeling antsy in the house because of Carter's cryptic message. I really didn't expect Elijah to stay with me all day, as a matter of fact, I didn't know what I expected. I thought about calling Vanessa but I decided to give her a little more time since I haven't from her since the panic attack at the food court.

I had nothing planned for the day and I really wasn't even hungry. I had no appetite, I couldn't even find the will power to take my medication. The doctors had warned me about skipping a day as it was important for me to take an antidepressant daily. If it was up to me alone, I would skip it everyday but I knew that I needed it. I had built up a need for it daily, if I missed several days of taking my medication, I would suffer from withdrawal. My hands would shake, I would always be restless, I wouldn't be able to even sleep a wink.

I don't know why but I wanted to try living without them. I didn't want to be 40 one day and still so dependent on antidepressants to get through the day. So today I was going to try.

I lounged around the flat for a while before I decided to have a shower and change into some comfy clothes. I connected my phone to the Bluetooth speakers in the living room and played some music as I cleaned.

I had a habit of cleaning when I wanted to ease my mind. I was just about done vacuuming the carpet when I heard a rather loud knock on the door. My heart immediately started to pound. I knew it couldn't have been Elijah because he texted me while he was cleaning to say he had to go out of town to bring Everlé to their grandparents.

I took slow, hesitant steps towards the front door. I looked through the peep hole but I didn't see anyone. I sighed before turning around but that's when I heard it again. I looked for the second time and I still didn't see anyone. I decided to open the door however to see if someone had left something on the porch or if someone was just messing with me.

I took up a coat rack that was by the wall before I gingerly opened the door. I took one step outside but I was surprised to see the porch empty.

"Hmmm" I thought.

I turned again to close the door and that's when I heard the two words that made my heart stop altogether.

"Hey Mara."

Oh, no. He had found me. Carter found me.

•••

"Please don't be real, please don't be real", I mumbled to my self. Needless to say, I was frozen on the spot.