C H A P T E R 4

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[D E E P E S T   F E A R]

Jane's POV

        I woke up to the rise and fall of someone's chest. This same someone had their arms wrapped around my waist. I blinked a couple times, adjusting to the bright light coming in from a nearby window. Where am I? Who am I laying on? I looked to see who I was currently laying on when I came face to face with a shirtless, sleeping Eric. 

        I quickly checked to see if I was still dressed and I was. I lay my head back on Eric's chest as memories from yesterday's events came flooding in. I had confided in Eric, Dauntless' coldest and scariest leader. I had made out with Eric and almost did the dirty deed. But I stopped, I had wanted to go farther with Eric. Practically every girl in Dauntless did, but I couldn't. Flashbacks of my childhood flooded my head as I tried to hold back tears. 

        Even til now that  low down dirty bastard kept me from doing things. He took so much from me and I hate him for it, I always will. I started crying but quickly stopped when Eric began to stir under me. "Jane?" Eric's voice was deep and husky from sleep. I tried to wipe my face so Eric wouldn't see me crying but he held my arms down and wiped my cheeks with his thumb. "Why are you crying? Is it because of yesterday?" I pushed myself off of Eric's chest and sat up, straddling him, his eyes watching me carefully the entire time. "Eric, I'm just- I can't-" I sighed frustrated, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have let things go that fa-" Eric cut me off by kissing me. I simply kissed Eric back, wrapping my arms around his neck. All I wanted right now was safety and security. And right now Eric was just it. I can't say that I didn't notice it earlier. I liked Eric a lot but because he was my superior, I had just kinda subconsciously pushed it away. After what felt like an eternity, Eric pulled away and cupped my face with his hands, "Hey, I'm not mad at you or anything. I finally got to kiss you so I'm actually a bit happy." I studied Eric's face for a bit and for the first time I was speechless. Had Eric always cared for me? I sighed and closed my eyes, Eric pulled me into a hug and I rest my head on his shoulder. Eric rubbed comforting circles on my back and we sat there for awhile. 

        Days had passed and Eric didn't ask me about anything that happened the night of the party. We weren't dating but Eric would sneak in a kiss when no one was looking or simply hold my hand under the table. Eric and I finished physical training and we were now walking down the halls to start my second stage of training. Eric hadn't told me what it was but I wasn't worried at all. 

        Eric and I walked into a room, in the room sat a reclining chair and computer set up beside it. My heart stopped, I thought we were done with this part of training during initiation. My hands started to shake as I remembered the fear landscape and what I had gone through. Snapping me out of my thoughts, Eric walked up beside me and placed his hand firmly on the small of my back, "Jane? Is everything alright?" My eyes glued to the chair before me, "I can't, I can't go through that again." Eric studied my face before answering softly. "Jane, as part of Dauntless leadership training you have to go through the fear landscape again. You may have to go through it everyday this week depending on how well you do."  I shook my head and tried to back away but Eric stood in front of me and held my upper arms, keeping me in place. "Jane, you have to. I can go in with you if you'd like but either way you'll have to do it." My eyes widened in realization. Eric would see him, Eric would see my number one fear. He could either go in with me or see it on the screen. The thought of Eric seeing my biggest fear and reason for pushing him away the night of the party scared me to no end. "Eric." My voice was weak and I was sure my face was more pale than the white ceiling. Eric ushered me over to the chair and like a mindless zombie I sat down and waited for him to inject me with the serum. Eric walked to the computer, pressed a few buttons then walked over with the serum in hand. Eric gently moved my hair from my neck and stuck me with the needle. Eric then walked back over to the computer, pressed a few more buttons then stuck himself with another needle. I sat up as Eric walked over with wires in his hand. "What are you doing?" I asked incredulously. Eric sighed and lightly pressed me back onto the chair. "Jane, I'm going with you." "What? No! You can't!" I tried to fight Eric and get up from the chair but my fear made me too weak. "I can and I will." Eric once again used his leader voice and looked me coldly in the eyes. I obediently sat back down and let him attach the wires to my head. Eric pulled a second chair over and and sat in it, attaching the wires to his head as well. My eyes fluttered close as the serum began to take effect. This can't be happening.

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