Waiting on the Sidelines

6. Without

I decided that I wouldn't be attending any more desert parties after the football games this year. Even without my unhealthy crush on the quarterback, I didn't really enjoy the drunk mingling in the 90-degree desert. And as the fall stretched on, the parties happened less and less as winter settled in and the football season became more and more serious. I wasn't anti-social, by any means. I just didn't let my imagination get carried away.

Reed and I ended up earning the highest grade in the class on our sustainability project. In fact, our teacher was so impressed by our model and paper, he entered it in a district competition being sponsored by one of the big solar companies in Phoenix.

Without the project, there was little reason for me to visit or call Reed. I found myself not able to delete the small string of texts I had saved from our few conversations. Most of them were about meeting times and whether or not I was coming over to work on the project. Then there was that last one, when I told him we were still friends. And we were. I just had to create some distance to keep my emotions sheltered until I could overcome this puppy crush.

My volleyball season finished in November, and I was pretty sure I would be allowed to play up at varsity the next year. Most of the girls were graduating, leaving only Tatum to lead the team. I dreaded the thought of that, but I was pretty sure I could hold my own on the court with her after some practice.

Homecoming went as expected. Reed was named freshman prince and Sarah was his princess. Tatum was the junior royalty and she and Reed spent most of the homecoming dance glued to one another inappropriately. I went to the dance with Sienna and a few of her friends from band. She had just started dating a new boy at our school, Bradley. They were in band together and both were musical prodigies. They competed at the district music challenge with a duet and were sort of inseparable ever since. Thankfully a few other girls were with us, otherwise I would have very much been the third wheel.

District play-offs flew by and Reed and the Bears breezed through allowing their opponents to score 17 points total. He really was a bit of a phenom with the football. The state championship game was a week or two before the holiday break and was held at the university stadium in Tucson. We ended up losing to Valley Christian Prep, a fairly sizeable private school from Scottsdale. They had money and a team of giants whom had played together since Pop Warner at 8. Reed was pretty bummed, losing by two touchdowns. But the papers were pretty fair, talking about his freshman status leading a young team against one that was mostly seniors. "A Force to be Reckoned With" was the headline over the article profiling him in the big paper.

After some serious thought, I sent him a text over the holidays wishing him a Merry Christmas. Surprisingly, he sent back a picture of his smiling face in front of his tree and fireplace. It was amazingly decorated – they must have hired someone, I thought, knowing two men couldn't pull that look off.

I looked at the self-portrait Reed had sent more than I should over the break. But I tucked it back into my taboo file when school started again and I spotted Tatum and Reed holding hands through the quad.

After a few weeks, being friends with Reed was getting easier. We made each other laugh in science and accepted two green medals that we were given for honorable mention prizes in the district sustainability contest for our project. The class joked that we were the green team and I nicknamed Reed 'the Hulk' in the spirit of it all. Our texts were even more regular and caused me less stress. He would ask me my opinion on the upcoming NFL draft or basketball, impressed when I was able to keep up with the text-versation. I could tell he was trying to stump me, and whenever I wasn't sure about something, I consulted Mike, who I had to call now that he'd moved out, and my dad. Reed and I were friends, yes, but I still wanted to remain cool in his eyes.