Just Watching The Football | RICKY GERVAIS X STEPHEN MERCHANT

Work, Work, Work

{RICKY'S POV}

Sex doesn't matter anymore. Work is more important. Why did we come here? Work. I have to stop thinking about all that stuff. Work, work, work, work, work, work! Hey, isn't that a song or something? Huh... Anyway, enough getting sidetracked! We came here to do WORK!!! Not fool around in bed for a week! Although that would be nice... Urgh!!! Stop it, Ricky, stop it! How am I ever gonna shake this side of me out for now?! Hmm... Maybe I could pretend that my job is on the line and I'll get fired if I'm caught slacking off. But, this is me and Steve's film. Ugh, why do I have to make everything so complicated all the time?! Why am I the way that I am?! Oh, nevermind, it's probably just my ADHD kicking in again. I don't think I took my medication this morning because I got sidetracked... As usual. Sigh. This is why I hate myself sometimes.

Hey, wait a sec! Maybe if we get our work done quick enough, we can spend the day together! Like a date! Yes, yes, yes! That would be perfect! I can picture it now... The two of us, sitting on a bench in front of a fountain behind a beautiful oak tree... We're just holding each other and letting the chirping of the birds and the splashing of the water set the soundtrack...  And the night ends with a clumsy kiss! If only I could make that dream a reality. I'm just too awkward... Far too socially awkward... It doesn't seem like Steve minds, though. He's being such a gentleman, holding doors open for me! That man has just gotta be kissed! I think I'll give him a little peck on the cheek right now! Gah! I can't help it! I'm in love and I don't care who knows about it!

Now, I'm thinking... Why couldn't we have just walked to the park where we're going location scouting? It's not that long a walk, only about twenty some odd minutes. Maybe it's because the faster we get there the more time we'll spend together... I want to get this job over with so I can be with my boo! I want to this date to start already! Damn it, I just can't stop thinking about the date, let alone the man I'm going with! Sigh, his eyes sparkle a little whenever he's working... I love it when he's doing something that he loves. I always try to get him to write something or make characters with me when he's in a bad mood. But because of his anxiety, among a lot of other things, he's unhappy a lot of the time. He's not sad all the time, just every now and then. I'm like his therapist. Well, a pen and paper are his therapist, really.

See, I was right! We're already here at this tiny little park. Now, time to stop thinking about how cute Steve is on this day and start thinking about why we're here! I have to get in the working mindset! Argh, but it's so haaaaard!! I wish this weren't a business trip! I gotta do this the hard way... Ricky, you're not dating Steve. You are not going to have intercourse with him later. He is your friend. He is your coworker. He is not your boy-toy. He is not your baby bear. He is not your boo. He sure as hell isn't your boyfriend. HE IS YOUR BOSS!

There, that's got to work. If I have to do things the hard way, they usually work. Now, to survey the land for filming... Well, there's not much to it, just looks like a normal park you'd see every day. Fountain, flowers, bushes, the like. God, how am I ever going to do this? Steve's already written so many more notes down. I'll be here all day if that's what he wants me to do! I mean, it is the work he expects 'cos we've been working together for who knows how long... Ages...

I have an idea. Probably not a good idea, but an idea. Maybe I can look like I'm writing stuff down, but I'm actually writing stuff about Steve! That could work, actually! Alright, let's get busy! Whenever he writes, I write. This isn't so hard! He's not even suspecting a thing! Not gonna lie, I am a little anxious that he might notice, but he'll totally understand, right? Yeah, right...