Just Watching The Football | RICKY GERVAIS X STEPHEN MERCHANT

So Bad But It Feels So Good

{STEPHEN'S POV}

Well, I definitely made Ricky very happy! Maybe I'm a better boyfriend than I thought... If we're even that close yet. Seems to me like we could call our relationship a dating sort of relationship. How do I explain that? Anyway, I think he likes my kisses.

Hold on a second... What's that noise? It sounds like it's coming from... Ricky?! Is he- Is he moaning?! I can't be that good for him! Imagine what he could possibly want from me! O-Oh goodness! I'm blushing and I can't stop it!

Hey, you know what I'm thinking? Maybe I could loosen myself and Ricky up a little with a few more kisses. Not just any other kiss, though, no! I'm talking closest-thing-to-doing-it kisses! You know, tongue in, wandering hands, that kinda stuff! Yeah, that'll get us all started up and ready for some fun later!

Oh- Oh goodness me! His hands are more wandery than I thought they'd be! I didn't know I had a nice arse! Or a nice knob! I guess he's reassured me there a bit, I had no idea that I was even remotely attractive, even in the slightest! After all, Karl's called me all sorts of names... I won't go into detail. But one things for sure, I've read up on, you know, what causes large knobs... They say if you're tall, you've got a big dick, and I'm pretty sure Ricky believes that. I'm excited to see his knob, he's bragged about having a 7 inch! 7 whole inches! I have GOT to check it out!

Woah, woah, woah! Hold your horses, Rick! Pinning me down so early? Don't we have somewhere to be in half an hour? I don't think we'll be able to squeeze in anything in that short of a time slot! Not even a quickie! But, hey, that did feel kinda good, being pushed like that... Isn't there, like, a name for that kinda stuff in sex? I forgot the acronym but I know there's a name for it! I think it starts with a B... Oh, who cares? I care about getting our location scouting done... How about we attend to our private business after we're done with work? That would be fantastic...

I don't think I've told Ricky that I've never had this form of sex before... I mean, yeah, of course I'm not a virgin! Ha ha ha... I'm totally not in a really religious family that wants me to have sex only after marriage! And with a girl and not a guy! Sigh... My life is so much worse than everyone thinks... What are they gonna say when they find out I'm with Ricky? They're gonna disown me! I was brought up to believe that if you're anything that's not straight, then you're a sinner. Oh well, Satan's gonna come knocking at my door pretty soon.

Welp, I've worked it out. We'll get down to our real business later tonight. After all, this whole trip isn't even a date or a vacation, this is a business trip that just so happened to get a bit flirty! More than a bit... God, I could never have even imagined myself in this situation today. Even though my family can and will disown me, I'm still gonna do it! It's so bad, but it feels so good!