Schizophrenia. [LP AU] 卌

» 01.

[tis a confusing book but bare with it im going with the flow my brohoes]

 to be honest liam payne was just a regular fly on the wall. in a new big boarding school with an all girls boarding school a few blocks away, he could easily be like the other perverted  jocks in his year, all determined to lay some whilst sneaking out past the high amount of security. of course he wasn't though.

he was one of those people who would blend with the crowd, but at the same time he could be the centre of attention. liam was the best at all sports, there was no guy in east county boys that were better then him. he isn't one of the richest of people but him and his father who is his only legal guardian, they get along by alright. he lives with a police man father who was also his best friend. i say was, because really? his father doesn't have time for him anymore.

liam understands that his father has a very stressful job, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to hang out with his son as much as possible. liam knows that because his father can't give him that much attention and that he's always home alone for a lot of the time, it would be a good idea to pursue on of his dreams. so he enrolled in the most elite sports boarding school in the whole of england. it was situated in london which was miles from liam's home in wolverhampton but h didn't really care. it would make nathan happy.

so he would be happy.

english was liam's favourite subject secretly as he was extremely good at it, but he didn't like his jock friends knowing that. especially nathan. nathan never approved of that. he stated that it made liam seem like a pussy. it was like troy bolton from high school musical with his passion for music industry but he had to do what everyone wanted for him to do, with basketball.

liam was one of those happy go lucky people who would do anything anyone would ask, in a heartbeat. he was nice kind sweet but people easily took advantage of his kind nature because of it. he finds that he's more comfortable talking online rather then in person. so when he started to talk to someone online... things began to spiral out of control. feelings were changing and getting confused but who the person he was talking to was a mystery still. she didn't want to give away her identity, and neither did he. it was all fine until things started to change between one another and the idea that they were each hiding something dark, was arising.

but who had the worse darkness?


++


"why you gotta be so rude? do you know i'm human too?"


i sang the lyrics at the top of my lungs without a care in the world, unlike how i act around people face to face. i sing with passion, without any worries or fears - nathan can't stop me because he knows here is my quiet place where i can escape his suffocating unneeded protection. more like over protection really. he says that just because i'm alone a lot of the time with my father away as a chief in the local police force, that i would be only and depressed. far from it really.

i love singing, running around the house butt naked and eating whatever i please without anyone to yell or scowl at me for ruining my chances to be a professional swimmer. i love swimming, don't get me wrong... but my father literally works me too much to make sure that i am the best and no one will be able to beat me. he says that life at the top is always the best you can ever get, and once you fall it's so hard to get back to your original position. in my opinion, i think he needs to take a chill pill. as does nathan.

if you're wondering, nathan's my best friend. he's been my best friend since i was around seven-eight years old and my mother passed away tragically whilst giving birth to my younger sister dorothy. dorothy also passed away, a few days later. to be honest, the counsellors at my primary school thought that i would be in such a low state because of the events but honestly? it didn't effect me much. i went on with my day to day life without a care.

my father, well i thought he would do the exact same as me... he took it harsher and thought that god was punishing him. sometimes he forgets that his son is alive, healthy and well... sometimes he remembers and works to me the absolute max. that's when nathan comes in. he's always there when i need him. like an aspirin, saving me from the pain.

"stop with that noise; do you want the neighbour's ears to bleed?" nathan calls from the otherside of the bath's curtains and i sigh knowing that my alone time is now over. what a buzz kill. i climb out the shower with a sad expression on my face to make him feel sympathy for me. he feels anything but that and i could tell. he just leans against my door-frame and smirks at me, turning around only when i've finished changing.

"has danielle called me back yet?" i question him when i remember my beautiful girlfriend who hasn't replied to my 'i love you' message since almost a week ago. i try to not let it bother me but it really does sting; especially when i love her so much.

"no, now c'mon you've gotta go to the gym and train. you have your audition for that scholarship in that boarding school in london the weekend; you have to be the best you can possibly be." nathan instructs me in a strict manner and for a second i see a glimmer of my father in him; and that's not really a good thing. don't get me wrong i love my father to pieces, he just doesn't have to treat me the way that he does like i'm only there for him to mould into the perfect son for him; not taking account into how i feel about it all.

"but i'm tired from school and i've got revision to do-"

-"don't make excuses okay?! you and i both know that you need to work harder and stop being so lazy if you really want that scholarship!" but i don't actually really want it, that's the thing. i rather just go to a regular school with regular people; not some posh, fancy subject specific one. hell no, thank you very much.

but if it makes my father happy and nathan... then it's worth it.

*

"TWO MORE LAPS; COME ON LIAM YOU CAN DO IT." nathan yelled after me as i tried so hard to push myself to the absolute limit whilst doing my cross country training. nathan knows exactly what training program to do, what diet to go on, what to do and and what not to do; it's like he's a professional trainer really.


"I. I. CA.CAN.CANNOT." and i slumped to the floor in defeat with half a lap to go until i beat my personal record. nathan pinches the bridge of his nose and his disappointment was pretty clear on his expression. i'm sorry okay? maybe eating the junk that i had been eating the past few days has it's consequences. i'll have to train even harder to get the standers i was once at now. oh great.

"slacking. you are slacking liam james payne and i'm ashamed to even be your trainer right now-"

"-then don't be it! be my supportive best friend instead! i'm sick of you constantly trying to make me suffer doing something i once loved doing; now i'm not too sure!" i angrily curled my fists into balls at the side of my legs and lay back on the freshly cut grass. there was now silence.

and awkward one.

"i only want what's best for you, li. i promise. please don't hate me." nathan's voice was timid and weak like he was afraid of me the way he was of rejection. this made me soften my stance then and there. i don't know what the hell he was doing to me but it was sure swaying me to stop being so angry with him.

"no, no i could never forever be mad at you nathan. i know you care but sometimes you just gotta let me breathe-"

"-do you want me to leave you alone, is that what you want? if you do i won't ever come back again. you'll be lonely for the rest of your life with no one to talk to or no one to love you and care for you the way that a best friend should. is that what you want, liam?"

i closed my eyes and tried to imagine a life without nathan in it. would i enjoy it? i would be less stressed, more free but actually more bored and yes more lonely. is that a good way to live? no.

so i open my eyes... and he was gone.

[sorrynotosorry i always loved liam with sophia not danielle lol comment and vote pls love yas]