Schizophrenia. [LP AU] 卌

» 08.

 "yeah hi. hello." i awkwardly respond, scratching the back of my neck. i've not really had the chance to chat up girls in public before i've always been so solemnly focused on my training, making sure i was the best at everything and nothin but the best. of course, that's my whole life basically. now being in front of someone who was clearly so beautiful, who i actually thought i would never ever meet, it's quite hard to get my head around it.

"what? no. how are you even here? why?" she blinks a few times to see if she's dreaming. but she's not. it's might be a nightmare though. i'm not as handsome, and normal as she would've pictured me to be.

"um. just-"

"-you were at that elite sport boarding school thingy, how did you even end up here?! after sports players meant to be mentally stable?" it was only a question, but it hurt like hell. she was right. i could never be this elite sports player that my dad and nathan always wanted me to be when i'm far from sane.

massive reality check.

"yeah, um. i had to er quit. the doctors diagnosed me with erm, schizophrenia." she looks at me confused and so i have to continue to explain, "it's this mental disorder that means that one can't understand what is reality and what isn't. it makes me pretty insane, i guess." she nods her head now.

a small smile plays on her face, "and here i thought you were one of those movie star stereotypical jock's. popular and sporty. i'm glad you're not, makes me feel better about myself." does it?

"and why's that?"

she continues to smile. she stands up now and walks away, leaving me alone and confused. after a few strides she turns around and narrows her perfectly shaped eyebrows at me, "are you coming or what?" and i stumble to my feet, hurriedly following.

we go to the 'quiet area' which is basically the place that people go when they need to calm down. take a breather from the stress. it's where i met that blonde skinny guy from the boarding school again, i can't even remember his name because i guess he has no relevance in my life? opps.

she doesn't stop smiling, even when looking around cautiously to make sure we're alone, before taking off her shirt in a swift movement. wait, what is she even doing?! alarmed, i look away instantly, and she giggles.

"aye, look here you prude. i'm wearing a bra calm down." i carefully move my eyes back to her fece and then they shift down her exposed skin. i'm surprised they don't land on her cleavage for a long time, i have good self control which is cool. i don't know what really to say to her. her tanned skin was not at all plain.

they were covered with red lines.

+++

"i don't understand."

she sighs, picking up her top from the floor and places it back over her head, "you think you're messed up. well you're not the only one mate. this whole place is filled with fucked up people. me being one of them. i don't even know when i'll be discharged. i hope soon. my dad will go ape if he finds me here, as will my step siblings. they all expect me to be this 'perfect fashionable person'. i'm not. i hate myself so much, it's annoying. i turn to fashion because i know that i can get whatever i want and design something that i'll feel comfortable in. be comfortable in myself. however, as you've just seen, this is the result of me not being happy at all with myself." she explains to me.

i still stare at her with a blank expression though, "yeah. i still really don't understand."

she groans but then a giggle follows afterwards, "i'm a self harmer, james! i'm addicted to causing myself pain, even when a little bit in my head isn't sane. i have no self controlled. i'm bad."

my mouth forms an 'o' shape now as things start to make sense, "don't worry mae. you're can be sane here. you're home."

she shakes her head and smirks, "yanno i didn't think that nobody could really comfort me, the doctors and psychiatrists here at the shittest, gosh. it must be fate us finally meeting. by the way, my name is not mae. well, it is. but it's my middle name. i'm called sasha mae rivera. sorry i didn't tell you the truth, just obviously couldn't completely trust a stranger could i?" she looks like she's bracing herself for my rage towards her.

but it doesn't come. so what if she's a liar? so am i.

"yeah that's okay. i'm the same. may name is liam james payne." she nods her head and extends her hand for me to shake.

"nice to finally meet you, liam." she smiles fondly at me, as if she feels quite content around me.

"you too, hairythoitswaxedvagina."

++

that following evening was the first time i heard from my father in almost a week now. i can't lie and say i didn't miss him, because after all he is the man that raised me all my life. sure, he might've forgotten about me. he might be my father but he's never really cared enough to know about me struggling in life. he doesn't care.

it was must've been because he's  finally checked his facebook messages and seen that i sent him a message at the start of last week. better late then never.

"hello liam. i am good as always. what's it like now at that boarding school? how does it feel to get the scholarship you've worked so hard for. i was telling the boys at work about you, saying how the three minute swimmer record breaker was my son. they couldn't believe it. you're all over the news back home li. done me proud, son. i'm sorry i haven't been in contact, just decided that you must need some time to settle in then work got really busy. you know how it is. anyways, i'm gonna pop around the school tomorrow, the dean wants to talk to me. must be something special, eh? miss you liam. you're doing me and your mother proud. keep it up- dad."

i re-read that message multiple times, and my heart was beating so quickly with the thought of my father coming to the school i had to get taken from. if he finds i'm in a mental hospital, he'll freak out.

he won't look at me the same way. he's now finally 'proud' of me. i can't lose that. he's never been like this to me before. i can't take this happiness away from him. i'll be a laughing stock.

therefore i need to run away.

+

what i didn't expect was to see sasha mae at the entrance of the hospital's reception area. she looked like she was covering the cameras, i coughed loudly and she fell off the ladder she was on. i rush over to her with concern on my face, it was supposed to only give her a startle, not scare her!

"hey, hey it's only me!" she breathes a sigh out of relief. then punches my shoulder giving me a sharp jolt of pain that quickly goes, "what the hell?"

"no, you! WHAT THE HELL? why would you scare for me, gosh liam!" she sat up, looking at me up and down, then noticing the suite case behind me and smirks.
"so great minds think alike."

i raise an eyebrow at her, "what do you mean?"

"you're running away. so am i." i smirk as well as she does. in a way i'm glad i have a partner, because i had absolutely no idea how to break out of here. i mean this whole place must be proper guarded, because after all it holds the completely mentally unstable people. it needs to be safe, but also very secure.

"yeah so, have you got a plan?"

"of course. haven't you?" my eyes shift to the floor pretty embarrassed. in my defence i had only come up with this plan half an hour ago, so yeah. "well, you're very lucky to have me then. you should be blessed."

i smirk, giving her my hand to use to help her lift up from the floor and she takes it gratefully.

"i am. i feel special."

[they're so cute together what even. two more chapters to go aw]