Funny Quotes

Part 6

guys, please don't kill me. i know this is way overdue, but i have been busy. a week or so ago was birthday week, so a week before that and during that week i was busy, and then with school starting up again (ugh!) it's been so hectic! but i'm gonna do my best to have the next part up this week:) sorry again, and enjoy!!

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501. When my mom leaves me standing in the cashier line: OH MY GOSH. WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T COME BACK AND THEY ASK ME TO PAY???

502. Galileo: Great mind. Einstein: Genius mind. Newton: Extraordinary mind. Bill Gates: Brilliant mind. Me: Never mind.

503. "Where are you going?" "Washroom..." "To do what?" "TO PLAY BASKETBALL." 

504. Teacher: Given this equation -- 3xy+2y²=a-z -- Find x. Me: It's in between 3 and y.

505. Hardest job: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self-control needed!!

506. *playing video games* someone: hey  *10 minutes later*  me: I DIED AND ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING

507. Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.

508. A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

 509. If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic.

 510. Keep smiling , it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

 511. Nothing is as embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.

 512. Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?

 513. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

 514. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

 515. I wonder why kamikaze pilots wore helmets…

 516. Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

 517. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

 518. Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

 519. I hate when I’m at the movie theater, and I’m just like, “Ok, which armrest is mine?”

520.    American kid "You're from the UK? Ohhh cool, So do you have tea with the Queen?" ....British kid: "Do you like, go to McDonalds with Obama?"

521.    That moment when you say something funny and the whole class laughs ,so you just sit there like a boss.

522.    Mirror : "Aww you look cute today " Camera : " LOL. No!"

523.    That awkward moment when you flip your hair and nobody gets overwhelmed ........

524.    That awkward moment when you're telling a story & you realize nobody is listening to you so you slowly fade out and pretend you said nothing.

525.    "HEYY! COME HERE IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT!!" " What?!" " Can you turn my light off?"

526.    When you meet me,you think I'm quiet. Then you get to know me and you just wish I was quiet.

527.    I'm not hiding anything, but stop looking at my phone while I'm texting.

528.    "No ipods in school! " Yeah like eminem is gonna rap me the answers.

529.    I can't help it but laugh when people fall down. If you don't like it, then don't fall down!

530.    Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.