Funny Quotes

Part 4

hey!! this part is dedicated to @MageGurl for pointing out to me that i had a repeat in the last part, and for fanning me :) oh yeah there is an extra quote at the end to make up for the repeat. enjoy!!

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301. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it.

302. I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. (this is so confusing lol)

303. I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.

304. Sometimes, I just stare at the speed of my downloads and give them moral support. ▉▉▉▉▉▉▉▉82% "C'mon! You can do it!"

305. That awkward moment when you try and hit the high note on the song ...and fail.

306. So me and my remote are playing hide and seek. The stupid thing is good.

307. That awkward moment when you're trying to end a conversation and the other person won't stop talking.

308. If I could remember school work like I remember lyrics I'd be a genius by now.

309. Sometimes I worry that I might be ugly. Then I look in the mirror and am delighted to find that I'm gorgeous.

310. I hate it when I am taking a drink and all the ice attacks my face.

311. Before I had Twitter, I actually slept at night and did my homework. (wattpad, instagram, youtube, etc. can also be substituted in)

312. I sincerely regret every nap I passed up on as a child.

313. I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible.

314. That moment when you run up the stairs and you think there's one more and hulk stomp the ground.

315. I keep my room messy so that if someone tries to kill me they'll trip over and die.

316. *At someone's house* Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your wifi password?"

317. What I do when I'm hungry: ( ) get up and get food, (x) moan like a dying whale until someone feeds me.

318. BLOOD makes you related, But LOYALTY makes you family! (this one is dedicated to my carabear, @sunshine50)

319. My local grocery store uses 4 checkouts. Unless it's really busy then they use 1.

320. Me: "Everything is going great right now!" Life: "Hold on let me mess something up"

321. MY DEFINITION OF A CLEAN ROOM: A clear path from the door to my bed... MY MOM'S DEFINITION: Not the same...

322. I am who I am. I'm weird, I'm lame, I run into things, I spill food, I trip, I scream about random & stupid stuff. But, I like it that way..

323. *Working hard on homework* Phone: 1 new message! *Picks up phone to reply and mom comes in* Mom: "So! You've been texting this whole time.

324. The awkward moment when there's a hair in your mouth and you can't find it so you're just grabbing your tongue, in public.

325. "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" - I don't know about you, but I didn't learn that stuff in fifth grade.

326. Me: *Does 10 sit-ups* ... "Where are my abs...?" (dedicated to @sunshine50. inside joke)

327. Teacher: "This isn't an assignment you can just do the night before!" Me: "You underestimate my power"