A Hufflepuff's Loyalty

Chapter 13

You just need to fight back.

I know what she meant. She meant it figuratively – fight back when the world kept throwing shit at me. Fight back so that I could move on and come out of this stronger.

But the words got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave me alone.

You just need to fight back.

Snape was fighting back. Maybe I should start doing the same.

I had to fight back. It was the only way I would survive.

It was the logical option. I'd lost everything because of them. I'd learned that their causes were all wrong, now that I'd gotten to know the people they were trying to wipe out. And now, I'd learned that even the one person I'd completely trusted, had lied to me and betrayed me in a way I could never forgive.

I had nothing left out there. My family, they weren't my family any more. They weren't kind, they weren't loyal, they weren't fair. I wanted nothing to do with them.

What I could do, however, was fight back. That was why I found myself walking up the spiral staircase behind the gargoyle one morning, a proposition ready in my head. My knocks echoed throughout the small space.

"Come in," came the old man's voice through the door. He raised his eyebrows when he saw me. I wasn't meant to be here. I wasn't meant to know the password and come up here by myself. "Miss Bates. What can I do for you?"

"We need to talk." Without waiting for him to offer, I sat down behind his desk, across from him.

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair. "Alright. What's on your mind?"

I sat up straight, my head in the air, and said, "I know what Snape does for you. Working against the Dark Lord. I want to help."

Dumbledore stared at me for a few long moments. I stubbornly returned his gaze. This was what I had to do.

"Why?"

I'd expected the question, yet I still found it hard to answer. I took a deep breath and let everything come stumble out. "Evan Rosier is the one that took me in. He gave me a home, after I'd lived on the streets for so long. I looked up to him like a father. But now..." I swallowed hard, trying my best not to break down in front of Dumbledore. "Snape told me Evan killed my real parents. The Death Eaters may have raised me, but they lied to me every step of the way. I want to fight back."

Dumbledore didn't bat an eye as I said all of this. He just kept staring at me. After I finished, he kept silent, as if mulling over my words.

"Why should I trust you?"

Another question I'd anticipated. "Why do you trust Snape?"

The old man leaned forward. "Professor Snape, miss Bates, has a very clear reason to want to fight for us. A reason I cannot share with just anyone."

I smiled. That was okay. He'd already told me enough. "Professor Snape has a good reason to fight for you, and against them. So do I. I've already told you why I don't want to stay on their side, but I've also got a reason to fight for you. You said you'd keep an eye on me. Surely you've seen me bond with my fellow students. I have friends here. They care about me, and I care about them. I want to do my part to keep the world safe for people like them. People like Hani."

Professor Dumbledore smiled, but remained unconvinced. "That's a very noble thing to say, miss Bates, but it's not going to be that easy for me to trust you with such... delicate matters. I don't mean any offense, but you did come to Hogwarts in the mindset of a Death Eater. They raised you, they taught you. I know how difficult it is to go against what you've been taught. I cannot trust you just like that."

"I know." I smiled back. "And that's okay. In fact, that's why I'm telling you this now. You told Snape he was naive to think this was all suddenly over." His eyebrows raised, but I didn't give him a chance to respond. "That there would always be people out there trying to resurrect the Death Eaters. I know I can't be of any help now. I'm still in school and you don't have any reason to trust me. But I want to start working on both of those things, so that one day, I can fight alongside you."

Dumbledore hummed as he considered my words.

"When that day comes, I can do what Snape is doing. Infiltrate them, and pass the information on to you."

Dumbledore chuckled joylessly. "This isn't child's play, miss Bates. What professor Snape does is profoundly dangerous and incredibly difficult."

"I know," I interrupted him. "So get me ready for that. For too long I've followed blindly. I'm done with it. I want to fight back, professor."