I honestly thought that i would hate being pregnant but it started going by so fast i didn't know
what to do. I stayed with my baby daddy brother and his fiance for the most part they enjoyed
me being over there. Honestly i didn't know what to think or how to feel about a lot of the
things that where going on in my life. I didn't know what to think about my baby daddy being
really distant it was like i had to be mad at him for him to come over or even notice me. I am so
much younger than him to the point i didn't care like i should have. Honestly i didn't even know
if I really loved him until he got locked up. He was only gone away for three days but it hurt the
hell out of me to the point that i had to go see him. I couldn't stand not seeing or talking to him
like I wanted to. I even cried when i finally did see him and had to leave because at this point of
our lives together we found out that we where having a little boy. He is both of our hearts and
we didn't want anything to happen to him while i was pregnant. So I gave up the party life and
decided to stay at home and would only go out when i had to go to work. I even started to go to
work early so i could make some extra cash so i could get the father of my child out of jail but
now i feel like it was a big mistake because even now he doesn't care about me. He only care
when he needs or wants something from me. The crazy thing is i'm the only person that is real
down for him and he can't believe that i will always be there for him. He is more into smoking
weed and drinking instead of the well being of his supposed to be future wife and son. It got to
the point I want to give it all up. I felt like I was not wanted and that a was just a toy that he kept
around for when he wanted to play. I honestly felt that and what made it worst was that his
brother kept telling me to play my roll because his brother knew what was really going on. He
had me thinking that i was the only person in his life but in reality i was number two if that. All
he wanted to do was fuck and cuddle and someone to be there when he needed them to there.
The crazy thing is that he never wanted me to meet his family and i still haven't. The only thing
that i am to him is a person that he knows he can play with there feelings and they always come
back so yes at this point i don't know WHAT TO THINK!!!
