Explore// Solby Oneshots

Locked

A.N. (Disclaimer: this chapter includes some dark content including attempting suicide and cutting. I also included a vivid description of the blood. If you are not to bothered by that then read on my fellow readers. And not all of my stories are going to by like this.)

-Kam

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Sam's p.o.v.

Sam slowly walked to his bathroom that he shared with Colby. He than walked in and sat down on the ground. He lifted his hand up to the small piece of metal and twisted it, to lock the door. His hand was shaking as he brought his small pale hand back down to his lap. He then moved his fragile hand to his side where he unzipped his pocket and grabbed the blade that was there. His vision was becoming blurry as tears overpowered his eyes.

Sam placed the blade to his wrist and pushed into his pale color-less skin. He then slid it across his wrist. He saw a deep red ooze out of his arm and onto the bathroom tile. It scared Sam a little to see his on blood on the floor but he continued his actions. Sam then lifted the blade up to his small helpless neck. Sam squeezed his eyes tight. the fear decided to kick in for Sam right at this point. But he couldn't let fear make his decisions for him.

Sam had struggled with depression for 2 years now. And he had had enough. Life didn't bring him happiness anymore. Only one person brought him joy. Enough joy to tell himself to get out of bed every morning  and do something with his life. but now for Sam that person was gone as well. He had replaced Sam. With a guy named Brennen Taylor. Colby was different now. Not only did he hang out with Brennen all the time but he also started yelling at Sam for almost every mistake Sam made. Colby was a lot more aggressive and he was never happy around Sam. He was only happy when he was around Brennen joking with him, laughing with him. Doing things with Brennen that him and Sam use to do all the time. Every night when Colby yelled at Sam or left their shared apartment  Sam silently cried. He always told himself to be stronger but it was hard to be strong when you are the one telling yourself that. Instead of someone else telling him. Sam had always become stronger over the years. When his dad went to prison for the murder of his mom Sam was a mess. But after a few weeks he told himself to stop crying and . be strong for his siblings sake. When his older sister Allison died from drug overdose, he found the pain unbearable, and if he thought back to it the only reason he got over it was Colby comforting him. When Sam's brother had ran away from his foster home and was also reported dead three days later from drug overdose Sam completely lost it. He was dead inside and out for weeks. All of the deaths had one thing in common... it left Sam to be broken and emotionless. Sam had eventually gotten over everything but but never returned back to his happy, innocent self. So it was his own fault that Colby replaced him. Because Sam was never able able to return back to his bubbly, carefree teenage self. So he has been emotionless since he was 18. He's now 20 and yet he still wishes sometimes that someone would come out of nowhere and give him a hug, because they understood why he was emotionless. But no one ever did. 

Sam's breath quickened as he held the blade by his neck. For the first time Sam let out a sob instead of silently crying. Letting small noises escape his dry lips. He knew he was alone so it was ok to do so. Sam regained most of his previous strength and pushed the knife slightly into the skin of my neck. It was enough to have blood spill down his neck but not yet kill him. Sam had thought of killing himself just like his siblings had taken their lives, but decided against it. Knowing he had to cause himself more pain, and he needed to be different than his siblings. But if the blade to the neck didn't work out, Sam had a box of pills sitting on his counter in case.