Make Forever Happen

Worry...

  A blaring alarm clock wakes me, Natalia, and two other recruits, the time on my watch reads, "04:35" meaning we have to be dressed, packed, and ready to go for our divisions big day, the official GRADUATION! Natalia and I have been waiting for this moment since we first stepped off that bus together from MEPS. It kind of feels too surreal, but when I look down and see my last name, "JUNE" on the issued NW-type-3's; I knew it was very much so real.

Like the cold water rushing harshly from the shower-heads in the shower hall. Since it's only the four of us awake at the moment, we decide it's best if we all keep conversation to a minimum & take fast showers. In which we all end up doing our hair, make-up, and a little pre-packing before everyone else is up when taps gets called, taps meaning our lights for the corridor get turned on and the RDC's come in. It being a quarter till 0600 and I'm one of the first to finish packing, I decide to head over to Seaman Recruit Pevilton since she seems to be having a little bit of emotional withdrawal.

But let's be honest, our ENTIRE division is going through that since we haven't had any physical contact with the ones we loved, and you'd be surprised that not many of us got letters within our 2 months of being here; transforming a civilian to a Sailor. When I get back to my rack & I sit on it one last time, I notice Petty Officer Almoraz walking in my direction and as soon as we make eye contact, the conversation we had the previous day rushed into my brain and all my emotions I've kept in since I got here, kept coming all out.

I never thought I'd end up sobbing & running into the head would ever cross my mind. Once I calmed down, now re-touching up my make-up, Petty Officer Almoraz comes in & tells all the other recruits to go away so she can talk with me, and says. " June it's your graduation day, your final step of being a United States Sailor & being apart of the world's greatest Navy, your family will be here and if not, already be extremely proud of who you are and love you even more unconditionally." And by the mention of her last few words, bring tears to my face.

As I'm kneeling on the bathroom floor almost sobbing, she embraces me for a few seconds and tells me to clean myself up again, and asks me, " Why is it that every time I mention family and love, you get so emotional & let your guarded walls down?" All I do at this point is simply look at her and say, " Because of him I have guarded walls, because of him he broke me and had the audacity to get not just close to me but to my family, he was forgiven by my mom, not so easily forgiven by my brother yet was, and deep down I want to hate him with all that I have but I still am in love with him. I wish it was more simpler to say but the first day I met him at MEPS, I knew he'd be involved in my life for good."

Authors Note: Question, so what do you all think of it so far? New chapters coming soon!! -A.M.