The Things I Never Told You

Years

I can't remember all the years.

But the ones that I can remember are strange when I think about them. Because in hindsight, it seems so obvious.

Last year I thought it was stupid that we had to watch all that shit on bullying and suicide. Nobody cared. None of us were depressed. Funny how I was.

I can clearly remember this one day when Mrs. Wallace showed us a video with all these facts and they were insane. They blew my mind. One of that facts was that three out of fifteen kids thirteen and over are depressed.

I remember looking around the room, wondering who those three kids would be.

Now here I am a year later and I realize that I was one of three.

One in seventeen girls develops an eating disorder before the age of fifteen.

Looked around at the girls in my class, trying to narrow it down. Maybe it was the girl playing with her sleeve. Maybe it was the girl staring out the window, or the one looking at the ground.

Nope. It was me.

So much can happen in a year. The sad thing is, I was depressed then too, I just didn't know it yet. And now, a year later, I realized what I was and that I was searching for myself in a room full of familiar faces.

It was so obvious.

I can't remember all the years though.