The Nothings

Kate (Chapter Two)

Kate saw that weird girl at her therapist's office again. Her name was Tabitha. Kate wondered if that was her real name, or just some bullshit she came up with to make herself seem interesting. She had dyed purple hair, and she dressed like a character in a 80's movie. Kate thought that people who spent that much time on their clothes were obviously making up for their lack of personality. She looked down at her red t-shirt, and the same jeans she'd been wearing for two weeks. 

Or was she the one with no personality?

Kate sighed as she waited with her arms crossed for her her therapist Gia. She shared an office with the ever perky Sara. Kate used to be a patient of Sara's, but then Gia came along, and Kate was transferred to her client list. Gia was older, and she wore glasses two sizes too big, and her cardigans were always covered in dog hair. She loved to talk about her four beloved pups. Kate even knew their names thanks to how much Gia talked about them. Kate liked all the chatter though. It meant less talking for her.

This session Gia talked Kate into going to the anxiety group she was hosting next week. It took some persuading, and finally Kate gave in to shut Gia up. She had been harping on it for weeks, and Kate always gave in to persistence. Plus it would be something to tell her Mom, and it might be seen as progress. Her Mom loved a bit of progress. Fake or not. She never asked to many questions. She just liked to hear that Kate was 'getting better.'

Then her Mom would buy Kate something nice, and she'd cook Kate's favorite dinner. She was so easy to please, Kate thought as she waited outside the office for her mother to pick her up. She always went shopping during Kate's appointments. Kate wasn't allowed to drive herself as she had a habit of not going to her appointments. She would 'earn back' her right to drive herself if she kept up with her medication and therapy. No one said when, and Kate wasn't going to hold her breath as she'd never seen her parents as angry as when they found out she'd been skipping her appointments for six months straight and instead going to the movies or going to the park to smoke.

Kate wanted really badly to get home and have a bowl in the attic to calm her nerves. Therapy appointments always wrecked her entire day. At least she would have the house to herself. Her parents would be going to Wednesday night church, and her sister was going to work. She couldn't wait for the solitude of her room. Kate loved her sister, but lately Harper was being really annoying and trying to get her sister to be social for her eighteenth birthday. Today would be a nice break from her.

Kate really didn't want to hang out with Harper and her friends. Kate couldn't understand why Harper even wanted her there. She never told her friends about Kate's 'problems.' Kate sometimes wondered if her sister was ashamed as she rarely brought any of them home either. Older sisters were supposed to drive you everywhere, and have a wardrobe that you could steal. They weren't supposed to be sitting around the house in week old pajamas and circles under their eyes from watching television for hours on end. Harper wanted her at her celebration though.

"C'mon!" Harper kept pleading. "It'll be fun!"

Kate wasn't used to her sister trying to push her into things. That was usually their Mom's job. She had tried to push Kate into trying all sorts of things. A volunteer job at the nursing home once a week, a job washing dishes at a pizza place, and even the occasional date with various boys she met at church. Her Mom stopped doing it after a big fight after Kate refused to go on a weekend camping trip with the church youth group. Her Mom almost had a conniption when Kate flat-out refused to go. Didn't Kate want any friends? Any life? Didn't she want boyfriends and a job and kids? Kate had stared at her mother's red face, and she knew she shouldn't say no even though she wanted to.

"You have to try with people," her mother said angrily. "Do you want to be alone the rest of your life?"

"Why would I want to try with those kids from your church?" Kate asked. "They treated me like shit in high school!"